Last week, Jimmy Fallon went on the "Today" show and talked about his joy over the recent birth of his daughter, Winnie. He also shared that he and his wife endured five years of infertility before opting to hire a surrogate.
This interview resonated with Elizabeth Kay from the Morning Mix on 99.1.
During an audio blog with show co-host Kidd Oâ€™Shea, Elizabeth disclosed that she and her husband, Aaron, have been struggling to have a baby for two years and even had a miscarriage last April.
I am not surprised by this emotional announcement. I have had the pleasure of being on the air with Elizabeth numerous times and have always found her to be an extremely intelligent and genuine woman.
Elizabeth shared details from the experience, including the devastating second ultrasound where they found out the heart had stopped beating.
"It was really, really tough," Elizabeth said. "You keep asking, â€˜Why did this happen?â€™"
Close friends and relatives empathized with her and even told her quietly that they, too, had miscarriages.
"Itâ€™s such a shame we donâ€™t talk about it," said Elizabeth.
I believe that by telling her story, Elizabeth helped couples living with infertility to remember they are not alone in their difficulties and with their thoughts and feelings.
"I was mad at God. I was confused, looking at my fertile family and asking, â€˜Whatâ€™s wrong with me?â€™" Elizabeth said.
Like so many couples, there does not seem to be a medical reason for Elizabethâ€™s and Aaronâ€™s inability to have a baby. Elizabeth says they have tried everything from acupuncture to western medical procedures to tracking to not trying.
Sometimes it just takes time. But time takes patience and patience is extremely difficult to muster when someone wants something so badly. (Meanwhile, everyone else seems to be having a baby.)
"I wish more women would talk about it," she said.
We live in a society where we believe, with hard work and determination, we can achieve anything. This is not always true with our bodies and when they donâ€™t do what we want them to do, we feel angry and betrayed.
By talking about the issue, we lighten our emotional loads so we can put our energy into the goal and, at the same time, de-stigmatize infertility and rally the isolated.
As a woman who went down a similar path, I applaud Elizabeth for having the guts and the heart to speak so candidly about such a taboo issue. I wrote about my own fertility struggles after the fact, but Elizabeth had the courage to share while in the midst of the situation.
Such a tough thing to endure for her and her husband.
It amazes me that there are some people who will see that same baby with a beating heart and will have the exact opposite reaction that Elizabeth did and will want to purposely want to stop the beating heart.
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