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Loser still rockin'.
Loser still rockin'. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
A well-deserved win.
A well-deserved win. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
Coming up for air.
Coming up for air. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
Putting on my apron, dramatically.
Putting on my apron, dramatically. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
Such form.
Such form. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
About to lose it.
About to lose it. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
Back for more!
Back for more! (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)
Creams puffs really are delicious. Especially when you can eat them with your hands at your own pace.
Creams puffs really are delicious. Especially when you can eat them with your hands at your own pace. (Photo: Royal Brevväxling)

Competitive cream puff eating loser

For the past three years, I participated in the cheesy baked potato eating contest at the Wisconsin State Fair. This year, I decided to switch it up and try the cream puff eating contest instead.

I did a much better job horking down pastries than a potato, but alas, I did not win. I tried to channel the spirit of competitive-eating maniac Molly Schuyler, but that didn't quite work.

For the second year in a row, Admirals marketing director Heather Wojciechowski DeCaire won the celebrity cream puff eating contest. When asked what her secret was she replied, "It's all in the mind."

This year, the contest was between 12 local media folks and we were presented with 18 cream puffs (they were smaller than the standard cream puff) and given 90 seconds to finish. Without using our hands.

No one actually finished all 18, but DeCaire was the closest and so she took the trophy home.

It's not everyday one plants their face in a dozen-and-a-half cream puffs and so, even though I didn't win, I consider it a small victory to my commitment to live a wacky life.

I think I might have done better if I were also given a beer to wash down the puffs, but I am satisfied with my performance. Now, if only I could get all of the cream out of my nostrils...


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