By Renee Lorenz Special to OnMilwaukee.com Published Aug 03, 2012 at 8:12 AM

It should go without saying that if you're going to reboot, redo or re-whatever a movie, it had better bring something new and exciting to the screen. Apparently, it can't – and didn't – in the case of the new "Total Recall."

The new incarnation is centered around factory worker Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), a resident of the overpopulated futuristic colony of New Shanghai, one of only two regions left on Earth capable of sustaining life. Stuck in a rut making ends' meet by commuting to work in the more upper-class Euroamerica, Quaid seeks out excitement in the form of the implanted fake memories provided by the much-rumored-about Rekall. However, the implantation backfires, leaving Quaid on the run and thrown into the middle of a destructive battle between the colonies.

"Total Recall" has plenty of action, but Quaid is no action hero. His battles are fueled more by confusion and instinct than the usual frontman motivators. Luckily, he's backed up by not one, but two ass-kicking lady leads – his impostor wife/secret agent Lori (Kate Beckinsale) and rebel fighter Melina (Jessica Biel). They do most of the heavy lifting while Quaid is busy being conflicted and flustered.

In the same way it's not really an action movie, "Total Recall" isn't quite a sci-fi, either. Yes, it's set in the future, and sure, it's got that whole "you-can-pay-someone-to-make-you-fake-remember-something-you-never-actually-did" neuroscience thing, but for the genre it's fairly lukewarm.

Really, the movie as a whole is very methodical and simplistic. The science fiction is overly explained, and the action is based largely on predictable plot points and elementary mind games that try in vain to add depth to a mostly superficial storyline. With the exception of exotic-looking dystopian settings and a few decent stunts, "Total Recall" doesn't really have much to offer. It's engaging visually, but that's not enough to elevate the plot any higher than its mediocrity allows.  

The new "Total Recall" isn't a terrible film. Aside from one glaring numbers problem (and it's definitely glaring if I picked up on it), it's actually pretty watchable. But, "watchable" isn't going to save the new "Total Recall" from joining the ranks of all the other average movies gracing TV's weekend afternoon filler lineups. At least this forgettable movie gets to be ironic doing it.

Renee Lorenz Special to OnMilwaukee.com

Contrary to her natural state of being, Renee Lorenz is a total optimist when it comes to Milwaukee. Since beginning her career with OnMilwaukee.com, her occasional forays into the awesomeness that is the Brew City have turned into an overwhelming desire to discover anything and everything that's new, fun or just ... "different."

Expect her random musings to cover both the new and "new-to-her" aspects of Miltown goings-on, in addition to periodically straying completely off-topic, which usually manifests itself in the form of an obscure movie reference.