Readers Blog: Dobie Maxwell's 'Dented Can' Diary

Just Bearly

Monday December 28th, 2009 - Lake Villa, IL

   I can’t remember the last time I had a Monday night off and did nothing but plop myself in front of the TV and watch the entire Monday Night Football game from start to finish. I usually write Mondays off, as I either have a comedy class to teach or a showcase to host.

   On the rare occasion when I’m off and in town with nothing to do on a Monday, I try to get out and do something fun. Maybe I’ll see a movie or ask a woman out or anything but hole up and watch football, especially the game tonight. It had ‘megaturd’ written all over it. That or ‘megaterd’, I’m not sure of the exact spelling. Spell check doesn‘t know either.

   Whatever it is, this game by all accounts should have been a frozen blowout, a dogsicle. It was the Minnesota Vikings vs. the Chicago Bears and as a Packer fan, I hoped that both teams would get a stomach virus and then their drunken fans would freeze to death in the stands to thin the herd of obnoxious halfwits that pollute the universe with their stupidity.

   I happened to be in front of the TV when the game started so I thought I’d watch a few plays and then do something else. The Bears and Vikings are absolutely my top two least favorite football teams so it didn’t really matter who won or lost. I still think Brett Favre needs to get his nose rubbed in it a little so for the first time ever, I cheered for the Bears.

   That alone felt strange, but even stranger was they played very well in the first half and were actually winning at halftime. Nobody predicted that, and by that point I’d been very entertained so I decided to watch it until it no longer interested me. That ended up turning into the whole game. The second half got better and then overtime put it into overdrive.

   This was one of the most entertaining football games I’ve ever seen, and it had nothing at all to do with the teams playing. It was just a great game, and I’ll bet the NFL is thrilled old Favreroo keeps coming back like venereal disease on a rock star. They’d start a senior division for him if he’d keep playing until he couldn’t walk anymore. The guy is money.

    The NFL sure does have an addictive drug for a product. Once that bug gets inside any person, it’s hard to get it out. I was mesmerized by the whole game, and it wasn’t even on my schedule to watch it. But once I started, I couldn’t stop. This was a game for the ages.

   It felt good to have a Monday off, but I want to really get back and crank up the comedy classes again. I love teaching, and I know I can help those who want to learn about the ins and outs of the business. I’m a lifetime student of the game myself, so teaching keeps me close to it. Hopefully I can pass along some of the tips I’ve learned to a new generation.

   Most of the day today I spent running errands to clear up the car accident. I cleaned out the wrecked car of all my remaining trinkets and took the title to my insurance agent, who in turn will pass it along to the claims adjuster and then I’ll get paid and move on. I really am lucky to have survived this with such minor damage. I don’t take that for granted and I’m ready to get back to work. I’m also ready to put the Bears back on the ‘still suck’ list.

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