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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2014

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In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

Milwaukee's cluttered flag still contains images of County Stadium and a Native American stereotype. It was voted the fourth worst city flag in America.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

Even Henry Winkler was visibly upset that the Bronze Fonz just stands there.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

What? Milwaukee isn't good enough for you anymore, Al?

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

Enough sucky things have happened on the corner of Oakland and North to last another century.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

It's time to concede that Milwaukee is no longer the world's brewhouse.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

The Domes are great and all, but why only three?

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

Bernie Brewer hasn't been the same since his mug of beer was replaced by a condo.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

No one seems to agree on what to do about the aging Hoan Bridge.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

Removing the Popcorn Wagon was a real downer.

In Milwaukee Buzz Commentary

We're not sure if Dustin Diamond still lives in Milwaukee, nor do we especially care.

100 things that suck about Milwaukee


We're a glass half full group of folks over here at OnMilwaukee.com. We love Milwaukee and we rarely have any trouble telling you why. Check out our multiple 100 things to do in Milwaukee lists for proof of that.

But we live and work and play here, too -- just like you -- and so it's only natural that we have our pet peeves about our beloved hometown.

We told you about the 100 things we're thankful for, 100 great Milwaukee dishes, 100 things to love about fall in Milwaukee and much more.

That being said, here are some of those gripes -- in no particular order -- and we know we don't have to tell you that you oughta comment on them and add your own using the Talkback feature at the bottom.

  1. Only three domes
  2. Winter weather
  3. Complaining about winter weather
  4. Too many Milwaukeeans affected by poverty
  5. Only second most relaxed city
  6. 9 p.m. booze buying cutoff time
  7. Sinkhole ate my SUV
  8. Housing market crash hampered Downtown housing boom
  9. Edison Street red light district replaced by condos and parking
  10. Seemingly arbitrary parking rules appear designed as back door route to revenue
  11. No Downtown movie theaters
  12. Smoking outside a bar in January
  13. We want our Downer Avenue popcorn wagon back!
  14. Bronze Fonz just stands there; not animatronic
  15. Milwaukee Packers games now a distant memory
  16. Decline of Grand Avenue mall
  17. O'Donnell Park catastrophe
  18. Lack of light rail
  19. One of the most segregated cities
  20. Little Park East development
  21. Aging Hoan Bridge
  22. Only 11 days of Summerfest
  23. Absence of World Series trophies
  24. Failure of the Pabst City entertainment district plan
  25. Slow to embrace new ideas
  26. No city-wide Oktoberfest
  27. One-way streets Downtown
  28. One company owns newspaper, two radio stations and one TV station
  29. Speed limit too low on Lake Parkway
  30. Too few indie bookshops
  31. No more winter equivalent of Summerfest
  32. Two hour drive to IKEA
  33. Water quality of local rivers
  34. Overcoverage of Packers, weather
  35. Potholes
  36. No Guinness at Irish Fest
  37. Freeway on-ramps that quickly become off-ramps
  38. Little county/city cooperation
  39. Inferiority complex to Chicago and other cities
  40. Bernie's chalet has no beer
  41. No political balance on talk radio
  42. Dustin Diamond among our biggest local celebrities
  43. Too many surface parking lots Downtown
  44. No Major League Soccer franchise
  45. Still not bike friendly enough
  46. Property taxes too high
  47. Too few record shops
  48. City magazines run by or aimed at aged suburbanites
  49. Limited recycling program
  50. No subway, though plenty of Subways (which don't suck)
  51. Not enough venues for local musicians
  52. No real dim sum experience in town
  53. Homer Simpson sign keeps getting taken down
  54. Lack of snow plowing in alleys
  55. No year-round trolley
  56. Daily paper's annoying ad drop on our porches
  57. Nasty smells in the Valley, Bay View and Walker's Point
  58. No longer world's brewhouse
  59. Too few vegan options
  60. Loss of small theater groups
  61. 100 percent less Pizza Man
  62. Still hooked on Oriental Drugs, but no way to get fix
  63. Too much water in our basements
  64. Sewage releases into the lake
  65. Budget cuts affecting Milwaukee County Parks
  66. Polaris has stopped spinning on a regular basis
  67. Can't hail a cab
  68. Prospect Mall is an eyesore
  69. No Chinatown and, therefore, no Chinese New Year parade
  70. Milwaukeeans overly thrifty
  71. Lack of multi-lingual signage for international tourists
  72. Can't shake old stereotypes of Milwaukee
  73. Seagull poop
  74. Zoo closes too early
  75. High drop-out rate among students
  76. Observation deck closed at US Bank building
  77. Only a few neighborhoods offer retail and dining amenities
  78. Too many failed city marketing slogans
  79. "Urban renewal" erased much of the old Third Ward; new development was slow to come
  80. Most old movie palaces razed or shuttered
  81. Have you seen the city flag?!
  82. Inability to navigate roundabouts
  83. Airport not especially international
  84. Too close to keep Cubs fans away, but also too close to get them to stay overnight and pump money into our economy
  85. Only one local band signed to Sub Pop
  86. Riverwest currency not legal tender in Halyard Park, Harambee
  87. Walker's Point rebranded by realtors as Fifth Ward
  88. 30 mph speed limit on Lincoln Memorial Drive
  89. Not enough Downtown gas stations
  90. Smell of dead alewives on the beach
  91. Replacing all-caps street signs is an expensive pain in the butt
  92. No Downtown stadium
  93. Limited library hours
  94. Local a.m. TV shows lack verve
  95. Too many uncontrolled intersections
  96. Great bands often sound bad at some local venues
  97. Still sad about the closing of the natatoriums
  98. Where's our Chinese mall, dammit?
  99. Too many creepy Dick Bacon clones at Bradford Beach
  100. Still devastated by Al Jarreau's decision to move away

Talkbacks

r3z0nate | Nov. 23, 2010 at 9:18 p.m. (report)

I see a lot of speed limit rants. How about changing one either 1. 99% of people slow down rush hour speeds to either look at crash, a cop car stationary or pulled someone over, or even a car parked on the OTHER side of any HWY. 2. The complete lack of common sense or curtosy to allow people to merge or to get out of the damn right hand lane unless you intend on getting off the HWY. The Marquette interchange is especially bad during rush hour. Two lanes of cars that refuse to let people merge filled with drivers that have no intention of exiting the freeway. I swear you just need to pay the fee to get a DL these days.

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matsfan | Nov. 23, 2010 at 7:32 a.m. (report)

You forgot to include the number one thing that sucks... "people who always complain that we have no light rail". I lived in Portland and light rail IS NOT what makes it a great place to live. I am not saying that their light rail is a negative but it is not their silver bullet and even their ridership projections were way too high when it debuted. . The ocean and mountains each being an hour away and mild weather have a lot to do with their quality of life. I go out of town for business 40 weeks of the year and MKE stacks up agaisnt virtually every city of a similar size. It is also no more segregated than most cities I visit. I like MKE and somehow it is a good place to be despite terrible leadership and terrible schools.

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pfan | Nov. 22, 2010 at 7:48 p.m. (report)

You are spot on atomhammer. I just spent time in Portland, a city of similar population size and laid-back attitude. But the difference between MKE and PDX is stark, mainly due to an incredible light rail and streetcar system that completely changes the way people move through the city. You can fly to their airport, hop on light rail, and arrive downtown with plenty of other transit options at your disposal. The trains were routinely packed, a joy to ride, and cheap (Milwaukeeans should love that aspect if nothing else). Our streetcar can't come fast enough. I only wish they could build the extension lines simultaneously. Nice list Onmilwaukee. You raised almost every issue I could think of.

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bucky99 | Nov. 22, 2010 at 1:34 p.m. (report)

You forgot to mention the Christmas lights in the parks. Spending 5 minutes on throwing a single strand of lights on some tree branches and putting up some cheap looking lighted characters (some of which have nothing to do with the holidays, ex. a unicorn) in the parks should not be something we're proud of. I'm embarassed to say that Dallas does a much beter job with their holiday lights than us...actually most small towns do better than MKE. Maybe instead of setting off fireworks every year to mark turning on the lights, spend that money on some nicer displays and workers who will actually take pride in their work when setting the lights up. Seriously, what a joke MKE.

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atomhammer | Nov. 21, 2010 at 11:58 a.m. (report)

Milwaukee will never be taken seriously by international business or investors until they invest in a rail system for commuters and regional economic interests. Milwaukee is now TWO generations behind cities all over America, Europe, and East Asia. We will never attract serious international investment as long as we remain separated from the Madison and Chicago and Fox Valley economic regions. Only rail can do this, and it requires us to spend money. As long as conservative suburbanites drive our economic policy, we're screwed.

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