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Milwaukee's Daily Magazine for Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2014

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In Dining Commentary

McDonald's breakfast: greasy deliciousness. (PHOTO: Andy Tarnoff )

In Dining Commentary

After eating the entire menu, Steve ponders a new career. (PHOTO: Andy Tarnoff )

McLovin' it: the best and worst of McDonald's breakfast


For the seventh straight year, October is Dining Month on OnMilwaukee.com, presented by the restaurants of Potawatomi. All month, we're stuffed with restaurant reviews, delectable features, chef profiles and unique articles on everything food, as well as the winners of our "Best of Dining 2013."

Have you ever been to Europe? They still serve cold cuts for breakfast. In 1972 McDonald's introduced the McMuffin for breakfast. USA! USA! USA!

I am never surprised at how McDonald's has served 945 billion people, yet half of the people you know claim to never go near it. They lie.

To prove it, here is a serious review of the entire McDonald's menu in three parts. We started with the meat of the order. Today, in part two, it's breakfast.

Egg McMuffin: Hard to argue with this Nobel Prize-like winning breakfast meal in your hand. The muffin is a perfect edible fork. I have had many of these on many morning occasions and it satisfies. I will say that the Canadian bacon isn't strong enough to stand out. That's why if you are not counting those scare tactic things (i.e. calories, sodium, etc.) I suggest you go with the sausage.
Serving size: 4.8 oz.
Calories: 290
Calories from fat: 110
Saturated fat: 5 g
Protein: 17 g

Sausage McMuffin with Egg: For the extra measly 150 calories, this is the perfect breakfast sandwich. It has all your basic breakfast food groups: sausage, egg, cheese and muffin. This is what Beethoven had in mind when he invented the symphony.
Serving size: 5.6 oz.
Calories: 440
Calories from fat: 240
Saturated fat: 10 g
Protein: 21 g

Sausage McMuffin: I don't get it? Why no egg? Way too dry.
Serving size: 3.9 oz.
Calories: 360
Calories from fat: 200
Saturated fat: 8 g
Protein: 14 g

Egg White Delight McMuffin: I applaud the intent. In today's society in which people either make healthy choices or have the inability to make correct choices, this is a great choice. If I were one of those people I wouldn't be writing this in the first place. That being said, I am not a big fan. I can see the filling satisfaction from the muffin and the yellow part of the egg once cooked isn't all that imperative. But it is kind of plain.
Serving size: 4.7 oz.
Calories: 250
Calories from fat: 60
Saturated fat: 3 g
Protein: 18 g

Steak, Egg & Cheese Biscuit: If you have nothing to do after breakfast, do this. From a taste perspective, it is spectacular. Everything works well together. The steak (and I notice they don't call it "stake" or some legal way around its contents) is well seasoned. Biscuit is really nice with the perfect amount of butter (or butter-like substance). It will fall apart, so be careful. It is also very greasy. I wouldn't leave it on my car seat but as mentioned, if I were not busy later, I would put it in my body every morning.
Serving size: 7.1 oz.
Calories: 540
Calories from fat: 290
Saturated fat: 16 g
Protein: 25 g

Steak, Egg & Cheese McMuffin: Again, I wouldn't put it on the car seat but if you are driving, it is easier to eat than the biscuit version.
Serving size: 6.5 oz.
Calories: 420
Calories from fat: 200
Saturated fat: 9 g
Protein: 26 g

Steak, Egg & Cheese Bagel: If you don't have anything to do until 2 p.m., this is an alternative to the biscuit and muffin. Actually, it is a fairly good bagel. It is not going to win any awards but it is not going to embarrass anyone into thinking it came from a vending machine.
Serving size: 8.6 oz.
Calories: 680
Calories from fat: 320
Saturated fat: 13 g
Protein: 33 g

Bacon, Egg & Cheese Bagel: Go steak or go home.
Serving size: 7 oz.
Calories: 630
Calories from fat: 290
Saturated fat: 11 g
Protein: 30 g

Sausage Biscuit, Sausage Biscuit with Egg, Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit: If you are watching TV I am going to guess you really aren't that concerned if you are watching USA, TBS or TNT, right? You turned it on for the show. Same here. Pick the one you want.
Information for Bacon Egg & Cheese Biscuit:
Serving size:
5.3 oz.
Calories: 460
Calories from fat: 230
Saturated fat: 13 g
Protein: 19 g

Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddles: Over the years I would venture to guess McDonald's employs hundreds of chefs, chemists, and demographic experts to experiment with countless variations of food options. One of those employees' has a kid that smokes weed and mentioned this concept in an offhand stupor. Wow. This is one decadent sensation. The folded over egg thing with sausage, cheese and a maple flavored pancake-like waffle that holds it together is just wonderful. While this should require a waiver from your insurance company, you would be hard pressed to find a tastier concoction.
Serving size: 7.1 oz.
Calories: 550
Calories from fat: 280
Saturated fat: 12 g
Protein: 20 g

Sausage McGriddle, Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle: Wow. What was I just talking about? Uh, I think, um, still wow.
Information for Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle:
Serving size:
6.1 oz.
Calories: 460
Calories from fat: 190
Saturated fat: 9 g
Protein: 19 g

Big Breakfast: This is what my mom would have served me for breakfast every day if she went to McDonald's before my brother and I got up. What's not to like? Only some parts of the egg are probably real, which is the price to pay for perfectly scrambled eggs. A sausage patty, hash browns (again perfect every time) and a biscuit. It just tastes good. And it comes on a tray that will hold together if you don't attempt to substitute the Fisher Price knife that comes with it.
Serving size: 9.5 oz.
Calories: 740
Calories from fat: 430
Saturated fat: 17 g
Protein: 28 g

Big Breakfast with Hotcakes: Is it necessary to add three pancakes much less butter and syrup to the already big breakfast? I believe it is your First Amendment right. These pancakes are not bad. I have had my share of microwave pancakes and these are better.
Serving size: 14.8 oz.
Calories: 1,090
Calories from fat: 510
Saturated fat: 19 g
Protein: 36 g

Hotcakes or Hotcakes and Sausage: You may be missing some food, but you get the same tray.
Information for Hotcakes and Sausage:
Serving size:
6.8 oz.
Calories: 520
Calories from fat: 210
Saturated fat: 7 g
Protein: 15 g

Fruit 'N Yogurt Parfait: Not a thing wrong with this except the disrespect to the letters A and D in the word AND. Nice and refreshing. Don't expect farmer's market fruit, but I do think Mother Nature did in fact, at one point, make the fruit that is in this cup.
Serving size: 5.2 oz.
Calories: 150
Calories from fat: 20
Saturated fat: 1 g
Protein: 4 g

Fruit & Maple Oatmeal: This is your basic fruit and maple oatmeal. It's like a nice little hug.
Serving size: 9.6 oz.
Calories: 290
Calories from fat: 35
Saturated fat: 1.5 g
Protein: 5 g

Cinnamon Melts: If you crave monkey bread for breakfast, you probably had an interesting and maybe disturbing night.
Serving size: 4 oz.
Calories: 460
Calories from fat: 170
Saturated fat: 9 g
Protein: 6 g

Sausage Burrito: Not a fan. It is a good value, but since McDonald's has perfected breakfast in a sandwich, it eliminated the need for the burrito as a vehicle. I prefer to save my burritos for burritos. This needs a lot of salsa.
Serving size: 3.9 oz.
Calories: 300
Calories from fat: 150
Saturated fat: 7 g
Protein: 12 g

Hash Browns: If you like, you can just get some hash browns. This is what Mies van der Rohe had in mind when he said "Less is More."
Serving size: 2 oz.
Calories: 150
Calories from fat: 80
Saturated fat: 1.5 g
Protein: 1 g


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