If you're looking for something witty in this space, you'd better stop reading now.
I have a serious case of writer's block this week, and the only way I know how to move past it is to write my way out of it.
Again, stop reading now, or you will be subjected to a blog posting even less coherent than usual.
Fine, don't say you haven't been warned.
It could be the impending malaise of months of dark days ahead, compounded with fall weather that's transitioning from crisp to cold. But what I really think is going on is that the usual two topics I follow, and thus, write way too much about, are totally dormant.
On this first day of November, there's no iPhone or Brewers news to read and react to.
What does that leave me to pontificate about? The Greek government and its effect on global markets? I'll pass. A Polish plane that landed on its belly? Kinda neat, but I don't have too much to add. The undefeated, World Champion Packers? Too easy and too clichÃ©.
I could tell you about my progress exactly 10 weeks after back surgery, but first, that would interest no one other than my family, and second, it's not that remarkable (it still hurts, but maybe a little less).
I could talk about the release tomorrow of the first trailer of the new Grand Theft Auto 5 game, of which I'm extremely excited. But I, like everyone else, don't know anything about it.
I can't even blog about that burrito I had for lunch, because OnMilwaukee.com Dining Month just ended, and the burrito wasn't that, exciting, anyway.
But, since you apparently made it this far into the worst, most boring blog I've written since "The wettest I have even been in my whole life," here are at least a few bullet points that you can discuss or react to on your own. Put me out of my misery and comment using the Talkbacks below:
- Herman Cain's commercial with a smoking Mark Block is insane.
- Jon Huntsman's daughters' parody of said commercial kinda cool.
- Why must I wait what feels like five years between seasons of "Mad Man?"
- What am I supposed to do with the dozens of LinkedIn requests I get from strangers every week?
- Everyone says the Brewers can't afford Prince Fielder, but does anyone know the net worth of Mark Attanasio? I have no reason to believe or not believe celebritynetworth.com, but if he's worth $700 million, how do we know he can't afford him?
- How long until Tony La Russa emerges to manage the Cubs? I say two years.
Anyway, I'm sincerely sorry you chose to read this. I promise my next blog won't suck quite so much. Can I interest you in some dancing hamsters?
2 comments about this article.
Post your comment/review now
Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.
Recent Articles & Blogs by Andy Tarnoff
Published June 11, 2016
"It's good to be king." Mel Brooks actually said that, quoting himself, to a sold-out show Saturday night at the Riverside. Based on the remarkable stories, the adoring reception and the super-human energy from this soon-to-be 90-year-old film legend, I believe him.
Published May 7, 2016
I won't lie to you: I know nothing about the current state of professional wrestling. But from 1983 to 1989, from about age 9 to 15, I was a huge fan. So big, in fact, that I wrote a fan letter to WWF announcer "Mean" Gene Okerlund.
Published April 28, 2016
Angry readers, self-righteous writers and surly social media speculators are in a tizzy about an uptick in "clickbait," and in many respects, they have every right to be. In lots of cases, it's a bogus attempt to lure gullible readers, and ultimately, it won't and doesn't work.
Published April 25, 2016
I've known about Mel Brooks' upcoming June 11 visit to Milwaukee for a little while now. Make no mistake, this is a "bucket list" show for me: Brooks is one of my all-time favorites in Hollywood, and "Blazing Saddles" has sat atop my favorite movie list forever.
Published April 15, 2016
For the many dozens of times I've visited the historic Pfister Hotel - for meetings, meals, weddings and drinks - until prepping for OnMilwaukee Hotel Week, I never spent an overnight at this Victorian masterpiece. Cross that off my bucket list - and I didn't even have to meet a ghost to do it.
Published April 14, 2016
As today's the wonderfully-made up "414 Day," or "Milwaukee Day," depending on who you talk to - it's a sexy day to look back at this excellent video from 2014 by the Five Card Studs.
Published April 11, 2016
I've been binge-watching HBO's "Vinyl." During a scene at an L.A. beach party, the camera panned to a sideburned record executive, smoking a joint and talking about Elvis. Even 25 years since I saw him last, I knew immediately that was my friend from high school, Dave Shalansky. I'd recognize that guy anywhere.
Published April 4, 2016
I'm sitting here on Opening Day, in the first row of the press box at Miller Park, and it's quiet. Too quiet. I mean, I can hear the fans in the ventilation over the sound of stands in this not-sold-out stadium. Apparently, other people here are either rolling their eyes in the fifth inning (or they're passed out).
Published April 2, 2016
It's been a long while since we interviewed FOX6 meteorologist Vince Condella for a personal profile, but with the long-time weather man's upcoming retirement, it was time to catch up.
Published March 15, 2016
I'm a big fan of Atlas Obscura, a website that calls itself "the definitive guide to the world's wondrous and curious places." And it does a good job. Yesterday, it took a look at Milwaukee and its 12 quirky treasures.