Miller Lite introduced a new "punch top can" that claims it will increase airflow to your drink and reduce burp-inducing "glug." That may or may not be true, but it will make shotgunning much easier for all the chug-a-luggers out there.
On Friday, MillerCoors sent a few of these newfangled cans over, so I decided to give one a stab, quite literally, while sitting at my desk today.
The top of the can has a second, smaller indenture that you have to puncture with a key or another pointy item (a fingernail will not work, mind you). The additional hole creates the extra airflow and, in theory, generates a "smoother pour." However, something tells me this bevvy was not brewed for pouring into a glass. Rather, it was made for pouring into your frat brother's mouth on the eve of his 21st birthday.
All snark aside, the extra puncture really does work. It truly makes the beer flow out more quickly and smoothly.
However, why exactly is this something I should want to do? These days, and actually for about a decade or two now, knocking back a beer as fast as I can is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve when imbibing. My inner conversations usually go something like, "Whoa, slow down, sister. You have to work tomorrow."
Also, I found the punch tab more difficult to puncture than I expected. My coworker Jim Owczarski said that's because I was missing the increased adrenaline that only comes from the party hardy mentality when you're sitting in a basement full of buddies. Perhaps he's right and my midday-Monday demeanor while listening to the sensitive stylings of Death Cab For Cutie didn't get me amped up enough to swiftly spear a beer into shotgun readiness.
No Talkbacks for this article.
Post your comment/review now
Disclaimer: Please note that Facebook comments are posted through Facebook and cannot be approved, edited or declined by OnMilwaukee.com. The opinions expressed in Facebook comments do not necessarily reflect those of OnMilwaukee.com or its staff.
Recent Articles & Blogs by Molly Snyder
Published May 18, 2013
Recently, four Milwaukee creatives opened the Cocoon Room, 820 E. Locust St. The goal of the group is to provide artists and musicians a space to share and sell their work as well as provide educational outreach to the community.
Published May 17, 2013
Rhino Food Store, 7411 W. Hampton Ave., is what I always want Pacific Produce to be: cheap, unoffensive to my sense of smell and filled with my favorite Asian foods and items.
Published May 16, 2013
Ninety-eight percent of my wardrobe is a size 6, and so, naturally, that's the size I grabbed at H&M. However, I could barely pull the pants above my knees. So I got an 8. Better, but still too small.
Published May 16, 2013
Maybe to fully appreciate Dretzka's Department Store in Cudahy one should approach it more as a living museum of mid-century clothing and household items rather than a shopping destination. But then again, few escape a trip to Dretzka's without buying at least one quirky item.
Published May 15, 2013
A new PETA billboard on West Lisbon Avenue shows a teen with a pimple-covered face, a milk mustache and the words, "Got zits? Studies Show: Milk and Cheese Trigger Acne. Ditch Dairy."
Published May 14, 2013
You probably drove by this mall a thousand times. Ever wonder what it's like inside? We did and here's what was discovered about this 20-year-old mall, formerly a Sears.
Published May 13, 2013
I'm an American and so, by definition, I am wired to want to buy stuff. And there's plenty of stuff I want to buy. Here are a couple of things that top my long list. As well as some stuff I don't want.
Published May 12, 2013
How many trees are in the city of Milwaukee? What deadly disease is currently killing many of our trees? Can you really find out the age of a tree by counting the rings? Where are the most spectacular trees located? Read on to get the skinny on Brew City's trees.
Published May 8, 2013
You might want to put The Harp on your mental list of outdoor drinking destinations this summer. The iconic Irish bar recently got a new patio and patio furniture.
Published May 8, 2013
Not everything is check-out-able at libraries, a fact made clear to us during a recent visit to the Special Collections at the UWM Golda Meir Library where we encountered all sorts of unconventional materials from 15th century volumes to invisible books.