I have been accused of being in the throws of a midlife crisis, and maybe I am. However, the words "midlife crisis" suggest that I'm hot-rodding sporty cars and chasing tail, which, unfortunately, isn't what's happening at all.
Instead, as one supportive friend suggested, I am simply living my life in a more authentic way. I am determined to live the second half of my life -- if indeed I will be fortunate enough to get another 30 or 40 years -- in a way that truly suits who I am.
Often, we make a lot of serious decisions before we really know ourselves. At a certain age, most of us come to terms with who we really are, versus who we wished we were or who we tried to be. This is what happened to me. I didn't want the truth to be the truth, but it was, and so I had two choices: listen to it or ignore it.
So I listened. I made changes. I feel liberated, guilty, judged and relieved all at the same time. Sometimes I cycle through these feelings in the same day; sometimes in the same hour. I'm feeling all of them right now.
I recognize that this is very abstract, and I promise this ongoing weekly blog will be more detailed in the future. But for now, know this: my husband of 13 years and I separated this summer. We have two school-aged children. We are determined to create an alternative, non-nuclear family.
We are transforming into a structure that we don't have a blueprint for. We are grieving and growing at the same time.
I plan to chronicle parts of this life-altaring journey via this blog. Some friends and family members think I'm crazy, but my life has always been, more or less, an open book. I have learned that sharing my stories to make others feel connected is part of my purpose. I am not always successful at this.Read more...
I am gong to tell you about my changing life, and you are going to disike me or support me or stop caring all together. But I am going to keep writing, keep sharing, keep trying to make sense of this beautiful, wack…