By Dave Begel Contributing Writer Published Jun 15, 2007 at 5:08 AM

I'm not sure where I was, but I obviously missed the press release sent out by NASCAR.

And you'd figure that with news this big, NASCAR would make such a huge deal about it that even I would get caught up in the excitement of the announcement.

Alas, I guess I'm just not on the radar for NASCAR.

I mean, here they finally do what so many of us think they should have done all along -- admit that car racing isn't a sport -- and I totally miss out on the news.

What, you say? What announcement, you cry?

Well, I've got to admit that it was a little subtle, but you must have missed the ABC television show last Tuesday night:

"Fast Cars and Superstars."

I know it's easy to get your reality television shows confused. But, this one stands by itself; or at least with one other.

It's really the bastard child of "Dancing with the Stars."

You know the show. Get a bunch of people who were struggling to get off the D-List (not the radio show) and onto the C-List of celebrity superstardom. People like George Hamilton, a guy who used to be in N'Sync or Paulina Porizkova (Who? Yeah, right!) Then get these people to learn how to ballroom dance and have votes and crown a champion.

Well, not to be outdone by another entertainment style, NASCAR came up with "Fast Cars and Superstars."

It's the same thing as "Dancing with the Stars," except you don't see as much skin, the roar of the engines is better than the karaoke music on "Dancing" and nobody gets lifted into the air.

But, the deal is the same. Get some so-called celebrities and make them drive around a track, trailing the hottie young guns of the NASCAR circuit, Jimmie Johnson, Ryan Newman, Carl Edwards, Kasey Kahne, Kurt Bush and Jamie McMurray.

The superstars on the show are a sad lot. Actress Krista Allen, who tantalized us all in a series of "Emmanuelle" soft porn shows during the ‘90's. Wrestler John Cena. Skateboarder Tony Hawk. Surfer Laird Hamilton. And, Actor William Shatner.

You can stop shaking with excitement now.

I, for one, am grateful that NASCAR has bowed to the wishes of the show's creator, BBDO, the advertising giant. They wanted it, and now they got it.

The people who did "Dancing with the Stars" think the show will get more people involved in ballroom dancing. The people who are doing "Fast Cars and Superstars" are hoping more people will drive fast and only make left turns.

The best thing about this show is that it is finally, at long last, an admission that driving a car fast isn't a sport. It's not athletics. It's entertainment, like wrestling or burlesque or reciting famous poetry.

For years, NASCAR and its fans have tried to convince us that this is really a sport. That's OK.

For years, the waltzers have tried to convince us that ballroom dancing is a sport, too. And now, finally, both of them have fessed up and stopped fighting a losing battle.

Entertainment? Certainly. A sport? No way. For either dancing or driving.

 

 

Dave Begel Contributing Writer

With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.

He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.

This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.

Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.