{image1} The Super Bowl will turn 40 next year, and I am here to help usher in the event's much needed mid-life crisis. No, I am not going to go sports car shopping with the Super Bowl, or try to find it a 26-year-old girlfriend. It's just that as good as the Super Bowl is for the NFL, its fans and corporate schmoozing every year, it could always be better.

How? Glad you asked.

I've put together the following 10 Point Improvement Plan. One that Paul Tagliabue will probably never ever consider (much less act upon). Perhaps it seems akin to suggesting that Jennifer Aniston get a facelift, or Pam Anderson a new boob job. When you have something nearing perfection, why mess with it?

Because aging never happens all at once. It sneaks up on you and accumulates over time. Sometimes it takes a long hard look in the mirror to see where the fat and wrinkles are hiding. Now take a deep breath, and keep an open mind.

1. Super Bowl Saturday

That's right. Saturday. The biggest problem with Sunday is that Monday comes right after it. The Super Bowl is the second largest food and beer consumption day on the entire calendar (behind the Fourth of July), so why crimp our partying style by making us work the following day? Once upon a time when Super Bowls started at reasonable times (like 3 p.m. in the East) you could throw a pretty good scarf n' barf affair with friends, and get everyone out of your house at a reasonable hour. No longer. Now, only single guys and diehards with large sums of money on the game will stay at a party past halftime -- or in layman's terms: 8:30. A Saturday game will still get a massive rating, so any traditional fears of that night being a "low viewership night" should be dismissed. This way, guys who are married with kids can get babysitters more easily or simply roll from a Super Bowl party to a local bar at 11 p.m. to argue further and let the pool winner buy drinks. An added benefit is that everyone who goes to the game, has ALL DAY on Sunday to get out of dodge. Currently, Monday morning at Super Bowl airports looks like the last helicopters out of Saigon, and nobody wants to wait all the way until Monday night. Plus, a Saturday Super Bowl would flow right into my next brilliant idea ...

2. Pro Bowl Sunday

Once again, I am a genius. Same stadium, next day, hold the Pro Bowl. I know, the trip to Honolulu is a cushy junket for players and families, but wouldn't they rather have a cushy junket to the Super Bowl, replete with two tickets to that, instead of just a room at Don Ho's Hawaiian Village? Sure, about five to 10 players from the two Super Bowl teams would be too tired to play, but would anyone care? Let Tom Brady stand on the sidelines, clipboard in hand, and interview him during the game about how great last night was. Interview other players during the game about what went down the night before. Pro Bowl players would be available during the week for various media functions and not sequestered by the teams actually playing in the Super Bowl. Best of all, you get another whole DAY of football to re-live the game, see highlights and interviews and blow off cleaning out the basement or going to Home Depot for some stupid mid-winter weekend project.

3. Set the Rotation

The league needs to get over the Super Bowl as a giant carrot and just set a city rotation for the game and stick with it. Say in five years, all cities wishing to be "in" the rota, submit bids for this permanent and ongoing status. Winners will include cities that promise to develop and construct permanent Super Bowl-like facilities that will make the media, player and fan experience better. No need to constantly re-invent the wheel in new cities. You better have warm weather, or at least "world class Cajun dining, along with riverboat gambling and plenty of nightlife ..." ahem ... hint, hint. Right now, the league is holding off on some cities because it still wants to bang a new or refurbished stadium out of the locals in exchange for the big game. Enough already. Just put this event in the best place possible, and let the local politicians sort out the stadium issue in due course. You want my rota? Miami, Tampa, New Orleans, Phoenix, San Diego. End of discussion.

4. Make Media Row Cool

I'll be honest. I hate doing my show from radio row every year. The card table setups are uncomfortable, and do not provide any of the typical studio amenities. But, if I am going to do it, let's at least make it interesting for the fans and the rest of us. Let's set up "listening kiosks" along radio row, that allow fans (or other media members) a chance to listen to what is being said on the 100 or so stations around the country. Especially the radio stations of the two teams in the game. I found myself wanting very much to eavesdrop on WEEI in Boston and WIP in Philly, but I could only do so by getting so close to their tables, that I would have been a pest after about five minutes. Plus, I couldn't hear the callers. Not only would this be useful and interesting for us in the electronic media, but it would be a blast for fans. Let fans mingle outside a designated "media only" area, and enjoy the sounds of the NFL on radio. It would be a helluva lot more exciting for anybody over the age of 12 than the now stale "NFL Experience" which is quickly becoming the league's version of the Epcot Center.

5. Throw the Masses a Bone

How about this for a blue collar touch: set up NFL approved RV parks around the city, where fans without money for fancy hotels could roll in and park for a few days. Charge them a reasonable fee (say $100 a night), and let fans at least party hardy in the Super Bowl city even if they end up getting stiffed for an actual game ticket.

6. Expand and Promote the Super Bowl Lottery

Did you know you can buy tickets to the Super Bowl through the NFL? No? You are not alone. The NFL does hold an annual "lottery" for average fans who want to apply, but your chances of winning are about as good as someday playing in the game. The league manages to free up a whopping 500 pairs of tickets that can be bought for face value. You need to send in your request via mail, and the drawing is in October. It doesn't cost anything, but the NFL talks about it as much as it talks openly about point spreads -- not at all. I say promote this lottery, free up an extra 1,000 tickets, and charge a nominal fee (say $5 to apply) and have proceeds go to a good charity. Or Paul Tagliabue's shrimp budget.

7. All-American Halftime Acts

No offense to Paul McCartney, but we shouldn't have to "outsource" halftime music to another country's acts. We've got plenty of musicians and bands in America that can rock the Super Bowl, thanks. Plus, I would mandate that every halftime show includes dogs in some way. Dogs catching Frisbees, dog racing, dogs jumping into pools. Who can ever get tired of dogs running around with their tongues out? Side benefit: no offensive nipple shots, although some unsuitable for kids tail-sniffing might be unavoidable.

8. Get on with it

Never, ever, allow two weeks between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl again. Never. It just kills momentum, and makes everybody itchy by the time Friday comes the following week. So what if the logistics are tougher on players and coaches? That's why there are administrative assistants, and lots of them. The NFL can swoop in a "team" of "logistics specialists" to help with each team.

9. Two Words: Jet Packs

At the first ever Super Bowl, the crowd was awed by spacemen in jet packs, hovering majestically over the field before kickoff. This was cool. Really freakin' cool. Since then, jet packs have been used sparingly at the Super Bowl, only once or twice to my recollection? Why? These things kick ass, and we need to see them once a year. Sure, they are dangerous and are not really in current application with our space program or military, but I don't care. Jet packs baby, fire 'em up.

10. Let it Go Limp

Finally, let's make Super Bowl Sunday a "No E.D. Day" in American advertising. Nothing good comes from all these Cialis Viagra, and Levitra ads when they are played during the Super Bowl. Kids have to ask "what is a four-hour erection?" Wives start discussing amongst themselves in the kitchen how to get us men taking the stuff. It's just a mess. I know it's a lot of money the league would leave on the table, but we can make up the difference somewhere. Like shrimp cocktail budgets.