I've never been much of a crier. Even when I was a little kid, I was far more likely to bite my lower lip, look away and choke back tears than ever let anyone see me cry. It wasn't, and still isn't, due to vanity. Instead I use it more as a defense mechanism. I guess I have always figured if the tears never fall, the overwhelming senses of sadness, stress or fear doesn't really exist.

The past month I've been choking back a lot of tears.

When something wonderful happens to a person, in my case getting a dream job, the common misconception is that now I only see life through rose-colored glasses.

Despite all the life altering events taking place, outsiders assume accomplishment outweighs apprehension.

Since announcing my new job and pending move, I've had countless people dismiss the idea this time is anything but exciting. If I do begin to open up and explain this moment is bittersweet because of what and who I'm leaving behind; I'm quickly met with a quick hug and words of encouragement regarding my new adventure.

I've had more than one person say, "It's the people you're leaving behind who will have the hardest adjustment. You'll have an exciting new life to keep you occupied."

Those statements could not be more inaccurate.

For those people who have never been far from home, I can assure you it feels like a tremendous loss. Saying goodbye to people you love should never feel permanent when you're just a plane ride away, but it always does at first.

There is an overwhelming sense of fear on both sides, the person who is leaving and the people left behind. No one knows how much people and relationships will change. The unknown can be overwhelming and it is definitely scary.

I think it's safe to say we all fear "out of sight, out of mind," but I'm trying to remind myself and the people I love of one thing; that is never the case when it comes to those you really care about.

It is not easy, but strangely enough I found many of my friendships grew exponentially when I moved to Pittsburgh. I no longer took casual phone conversations or dinners for granted, and I think we all learned more about each other and ourselves through the changes.

Despite knowing relationships can thrive, even flourish, through change does not make the final few weeks at home and the first weeks in a new place any less emotional.

Your brain can only relate so much to your heart and vice versa. Absence may make the heart grow fonder, but at first it only makes it hurt.