By way of our good buds at Vivid, we were connected with the goddess (her words, not ours) dominatrix, Aiden Starr. She was kind enough to answer a couple of our burning questions — specifically about the act of "financial domination" — which previously eluded us.
OnMilwaukee.com: Let’s get a little background on how you came to this profession.
Aiden Starr: I was living in New York City and I was working in medical research and I was hanging out with a girl who was very interested in practicing BDSM with me in our personal lives, so she got a job at a dungeon being a professional dominatrix. Then I got a job there to spend more time with her, working as a phone girl -- or a "booker."
OMC: Explain your jump from booker to worker.
AS: I consider people who work in ancillary positions in the sex industry to be sex workers, because I still had to see penises every day. So if there’s no way around seeing penis, in my opinion, you’re a sex worker. But from behind-the-scenes to in front-of-the-scenes, there was this man -- a very nice director -- named Rick Savage, who came to the dungeon and shot fetish videos with the girls. He asked me if I wanted to be in one, and I did. There were about two years on-camera working with him or women I was already physically intimate with off camera.
OMC: Would you shed some light on "Financial Slavery?"
AS: I have participated in that, yes. Every fetish is open to personal interpretation. It can be anything, like owning someone in a 24/7 relationship who pays my bills for me. That’s a form of financial domination. That is probably the most lifestyle form of financial domination, and then you have financial domination over the Internet. If the economy is good, if the economy is bad, if money is important to you, you’d probably be interested in financial domination as a sub.
As a top, there’s no reason for sex workers not to take advantage of this. You can tell people to buy you a virtual credit card … or give you their bank account number … or take them shopping. It’s all a matter of two people talking about where their interests and boundaries are. Maybe it’s more of a cerebral stimulation they feel. It relieves them from the everyday stress of having to control their money.
OMC: So it goes deeper than being a Sugar Daddy?
AS: Maybe it’s more of a cerebral stimulation they feel. Maybe it’s being submissive and not being allowed to control their money. Maybe they see the end coming and you can’t take your money with you; you’re going to die someday; you’re a mortal person and money doesn’t mean anything and you have no control over that. So they use a dominatrix to control their mortality and the world, the government, culture, and economics. We’re a vehicle for control.
OMC: How do you usually do it?
AS: I go on Streamate.com and guys will pay for an exclusive chat with me. So, instead of electing to pay $4.99 a minute, you elect to pay $10 a minute, which is you telling me that you want to play with me. Once they receive the "OK," the consensuality is established, then I’m going to tell you that you have to give me a tip.
OMC: Or what?
AS: There doesn’t have to be an "or" for financial domination. That is one of the separating factors. You just demand that they give you money.
OMC: What’s the biggest tip you’ve gotten?
AS: I don’t work for tips. I have benefactors. I’m 34, I’m not a 21-year-old girl.
OMC: Just like "Great Expectations!" OK, well what’s the largest amount you’ve received in one shot?
AS: In one shot? My benefactor gave me $10,000.
OMC: How’s that feel?
AS: I like my job. He and I have a very complex relationship -- he likes watching me dominate girls and he’s a very wealthy person. He takes care of me and I take care of him. It doesn’t have to be mean or destructive. It’s all contextual.
OMC: Which is nice to know -- people usually think whips and chains when they hear BDSM.
AS: Well, whips, chains, and pain are all involved. It’s just how you do it.
OMC: There’s an iPad Fleshlight case out now … what are your thoughts on virtual sex?
AS: Virtual sex will not take over because it’s not powerful enough. It’s not as powerful as a personal experience.
OMC: How about sexy robots? You don’t think sex robots will replace hookers?
AS: No … I think, for something like sex, yes. For something like fetish, no … because fetish is an expression of human sexuality and it’s personal and everyone’s take on it is different. It’s very human.
I’ll be honest, I’m a pretty easily intimidated man -- the sheer power and confidence and of Aiden’s voice sent shivers up my spine and crinkled me up like a reverse timelapse of a blooming flower. She’s a powerful woman and she knows how to use that power.
As for the practice of financial domination, the idea of willingly shelling out thousands of dollars in order to get off is totally wild. At the same time, it’s something strive for. Imagine the point where of being wealthy enough to afford $10,000 to achieve a raging erection.
That’s baller status right there.
Jeremy Glass is a Connecticut-born writer with a deep appreciation for pretty ladies, fast food and white T-shirts.
He's the Vice editor for Supercompressor.com and recently released a book of short stories called Aimless.