I've already blogged about my appreciation for ironic T-shirts. I love a shirt that makes me think ... then makes me laugh.
But there's one type of shirt that's even better, and for lack of an official name, I'll call it the "Anti Shirt." Or maybe for short, just the Ø Shirt.
I saw my first Anti Shirt at Lambeau Field about a decade ago. It was an official Chicago Bears jersey sporting the number zero. Right before I lobbed an insult at the guy for coming to a Packers game in Bears garb, he turned around to show the "name" imprinted on the back: STILLSUCK.
At the time, that was the most clever and boldest Packers fashion statement I'd ever seen in Green Bay (I suppose the Packers' bikini girls from last year trumped this guy for their ability to get themselves on TV). But this fan risked ridicule from all of Titletown just to make a statement about how much he hates the Bears.
Well done, sir.
Sadly, the idea of printing fake and obscene names on the back of NFL jerseys died when clever fans ordered Michael Vick jerseys with the name "MEXICO" emblazoned on the back, after it turned out the now felon was picking up chicks using the pseudonym "Ron Mexico." And if you'd like to amuse yourself for hours with juvenile humor, check out this extremely NSFW link to the incredibly long and creative 2005 list of banned names for NFL jerseys.
With that fun over, I laughed again when Sammy Sosa was discovered corking his bat, and I saw another clever Ø Shirt that looked like the Cubs logo ... but it actually just said, "Cork."
Simple, clever, understated. My kind of shirt.
Lately, I've seen several more Anti Shirts, and fortunately, most of them are in opposition of Chicago teams. Two that stand out to me are available at the super-awesome Shag, 2218 N. Farwell Ave.
The first is just a Cubs logo with the "CU" rubbed out, leaving just "BS." The second is a little less family-friendly, with the famous curse-bringing goat performing a lewd act on on Chicago's baby bear mascot. The caption reads, "Every Team Has A Bad Century ... Right?" According to the guy working at Shag when I snapped the above photos, the $25 shirts are selling like hotcakes.
Hilarious.
But here's the thing: Even though I find these witty shirts great, I'm a little reticent to actually wear one. If I'm at a Brewers or Packers game, I want everyone to know, without having to think, where my allegiances lie. No matter how great the message, I'm not sure I could even don those blue and orange Bears colors, or the candy-ass red and blue Cubs hues.
In other words, I respect the crap out of you, Mr. Ø Shirt Wearer. But for now, I'll play it straight and send you a knowing nod when I see you walking down the street. You're a bolder man than me, sir, and I've got your back the next time the North Siders invade Miller Park.
Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.
Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.
Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.
