A friend brought to my attention that I need to stop worrying about getting older. I told him I was hoping for the discovery of the fountain of youth before I turn 30.
You see, I've had three 25th birthdays in a row and I'm staring down the barrel of the fourth one. The truth is, when I have no makeup on and my hair in a ponytail most people mistake me for a much younger girl. I still get carded regularly -- and who doesn't love that -- but I'm still not thrilled about creeping towards 30.
My friend told me that he actually thinks women get more attractive when they get closer to 40 because they start to really know and accept who they are. They are more comfortable in their own skin and way more confident in the bedroom.
I'm skeptical to believe this, especially when the media and life have taught me that men in their 40s and 50s are always leaving their wives for women my age, not women their own age, but I do understand wanting to be with, or at least sleep with someone who's comfortable with his or herself.
These days older chicks are getting a lot of attention, thanks in part to Demi Moore. However, "cougar" isn't so much a title to indicate age as it is to indicate strong sexual prowess. Men hit their sexual peak around age 19 while women get there in their late 30s to early 40s. I guess if you're reaching that age and you're a single woman you should stop hanging with the scotch drinking crowd and spend some time at the beer pong table. College-aged guys can have sex, eat a pizza and do it all over again with no need for a three-hour nap in between.
Women my age and younger are still very hung up on impossible perfection, the media, celebrity and peer pressure. We exude confidence but in reality we spend way too much time picking ourselves apart. We're still a bit naïve enough to think Cosmo actually has all the answers to our life, love and looks problems. But we're getting wiser. Now I only buy high fashion magazines so I can stare at 80-pound models to keep myself from eating a jar of Skippy.
On a related Cosmo note, sexual pioneer Helen Gurley Brown wrote "Sex and the Single Girl" in 1962 when she was 40 years old. That's definitely telling. Maybe she had finally reached an age when she felt like she knew what she was talking about in terms of being a successful professional, as well as, sexually-confident woman.
Like a lot of things in life, the aging process is complete BS for women. A woman starts to age and she's supposed to do everything in her power and wallet to reverse the signs. Whether it's spending huge amounts of time and money on "miracle" creams, peels and micro-dermabrasions, to going under the knife to put her breasts and face back to where they used to be.
Men get older and it becomes an excuse to buy cars that look like penises, pierce their ears and date women half their age.
Perhaps the era of cougars is just a response to this. If so, it's been a long time coming. I say go for it, Mrs. Robinson!
I do envy women that age gracefully. It's as if they are eternally youthful no matter what their age and it leaves an air of mystery to them. My mother has aged this way so I'm really hopeful that I have that aspect of her DNA. (But I'm going to have to learn to use sunscreen.) Only alien life forms like Sophia Loren can eat pasta their entire lives and still look like Roman Goddesses when they're damn near 80. The rest of us simply aren't that lucky.
There is something to be said about a woman of a certain age who's got confidence, intelligence and the life experience to know what to do with it. A woman that knows what she wants. Even if all she wants at the moment is the pool boy for a few hours.
I don't want to get older, get wrinkles or grey hair, but I want all the things that come along with becoming more mature. I just wish I could have it without having to look it. I'm trying to become more comfortable with my age each year that it jumps up another number, but I think I'll still fake 25 until I do hit 30 ... then I'll be 26 for awhile. Guess I better spend less time in the sun and more time downing antioxidants.
Vodka is an antioxidant, right?
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.