By OnMilwaukee Staff Writers   Published Apr 02, 2004 at 5:06 AM

{image1} Missed the hilarious 2004 April Fool's issue of OnMilwaukee.com? Here are links to all of the stories. Enjoy!

LAUTENSCHLAGER RAISES LEGAL LIMIT TO .13 PERCENT
Alcoholics, binge drinkers and drunk drivers are hailing today's decision by State Attorney General Peg Lautenschlager to raise the legal limit for driving to a nation-high .13 percent.
onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/legallimit.html

PRATT BLAMES DRUNKEN KARAOKE ON ACCOUNTING ERROR
Several area reporters were mailed a video tape sealed in a plain paper envelope Tuesday showing an intoxicated Marvin Pratt singing "Ain't No Stopping Us Now" at Jax Tavern's regular karaoke night.
onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/prattsings.html

BARRETT FILES PAPERS FOR 2006 GOVERNOR BID
With the 2004 Milwaukee mayoral race less than one week away, former U.S. Congressman and current mayoral hopeful Tom Barrett has filed the necessary papers for a 2006 run at the top job in the State of Wisconsin.
onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/barrettfiles.html

DICK STRONG BUYS BREWERS FOR STOCK
Embattled former chairman of Strong Financial Corp., Dick Strong, will buy the Milwaukee Brewers for $19 million in company stock, team officials announced today.
onmilwaukee.com/sports/articles/brewersstrong.html

MILWAUKEE MAGAZINE NAMES GRENADIER'S HIPPEST NEW RESTAURANT
Grenadier's, the swank downtown restaurant that closed last month, was voted "hippest new restaurant of 2004" in May issue of Milwaukee Magazine.
onmilwaukee.com/dining/articles/grenadiersmilwmag.html

ANTON BUYS TACO BELLS TO PUBLICIZE LA PERLA
Nick Anton, owner of La Perla restaurant, announced earlier this week that he purchased all 42 of the Taco Bell restaurants in the Milwaukee area.
onmilwaukee.com/dining/articles/perlaapril.html

SHOWBIZ PIZZA PURCHASES LOCAL GROUND ROUNDS
ShowBiz Pizza Time, Inc., doing business as CEC Entertainment Inc., in Irving, Texas, has signed a multi-million deal to purchase the 18 Milwaukee-area Ground Round locations that closed abruptly in mid-February.
onmilwaukee.com/dining/articles/showbiz.html

YANICK DALHOUSE GIVES CHILD A UNIQUE DOLLHOUSE
Up-and-coming Fox 6 News reporter Yanick Dalhouse recently gave seven-year-old Madison Condo of Mequon a very unique dollhouse.
onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/dalhouseapril.html

"DON AND BO SHOW" WATCHED ONLY BY DON AND BO
When former Milwaukee Public Schools spokesman Don Hoffman teamed with ousted Summerfest maven Bo Black for a tag team television program, hopes ran high at channels 58 and 41.
onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/donbo.html

MARQUETTE, UWM PLAN MERGER
After a construction planning flaw on the Marquette Interchange forced the schools to share a highway exit, the trustees of both schools decided to merge the two institutions.
onmilwaukee.com/family/articles/muwm.html

EVEN CHANNEL 18 DOESN'T KNOW IT HAS NEWS
Broadcast Weekly Magazine's media columnist Dieter Dorbertson was shocked to discover that WVTV-TV, Milwaukee's WB network affiliate, didn't even realize it had local news programming. In fact, despite the ignorance of station management and staff, WVTV has a full hour of news programming from 9 to 10 p.m. nightly
onmilwaukee.com/buzz/articles/wvtvapril.html

PROSPECT MALL CINEMA TO GET REVOLUTIONARY NEW SEATING SYSTEM
Marcus's Prospect Mall Cinemas has announced a new renovation, which includes new seats and the addition of three new theaters.
onmilwaukee.com/movies/articles/cinemaapril.html

BORGNINE NAMED SUMMERFEST DIRECTOR
Since the departure of Bo Black from the Summerfest helm, Milwaukeeans have been eagerly awaiting news of her replacement, with speculation running rampant.
onmilwaukee.com/ent/articles/borgnine.html

POTAWATOMI BANS NON-SMOKERS
Get ready, Milwaukee. Potawatomi Bingo Casino is about to get even smokier.
onmilwaukee.com/ent/articles/potawatomiapril.html

TED PERRY, MIKE GOUSHA TO DUKE IT OUT FOR CHARITY
Fox 6 anchor Ted Perry and Channel 4 anchor Mike Gousha will step into the ring for a no-holds barred, "Ultimate Fighting Championship"-style bout tonight -- all in the name of sick kids.
onmilwaukee.com/ent/articles/perryvsgousha.html

MARCUS THEATERS RAISE TICKET PRICES TO $21.75
Marcus Theatres said it will raise tickets prices to $21.75 this summer, but will keep popcorn prices the same: $9.50 for a micro, $12.95 for a mini and $24 for a regular.
onmilwaukee.com/movies/articles/marcusapril.html

"GONE WITH THE WIND" REMAKE PLANNED FOR MENOMONEE FALLS
With the critical success of the documentary "American Movie" under his belt, Mark Borchardt is ready again to take on Hollywood with the remake of American classic of the Deep South, "Gone with the Wind."
onmilwaukee.com/movies/articles/gonewiththewind.html

PACKERS SIGN FAVRE TO NEW, 10-YEAR CONTRACT
The Green Bay Packers took an important step to ensuring the future of their offensive juggernaut Wednesday by re-signing three-time MVP Brett Favre to a new, 10-year, $295 million contract.
onmilwaukee.com/sports/articles/favresigns.html

STEEP TICKET TAX TO FUND NEW BRADLEY CENTER
In an effort to build support for creation of a new professional sports complex in downtown Milwaukee, local business and political leaders endorsed a $25 per ticket tax for all events in any Wisconsin arena, to be played in not-yet-named facility.
onmilwaukee.com/sports/articles/newbradley.html

BERNIE BREWER ADMITS TO USING STEROIDS
Long-time mascot and chalet-slider Bernie Brewer admitted to using illegal steroids today. The punishment for this violation of the MLB substance abuse policy is a soft slap on the mascot's heavily-padded butt.
onmilwaukee.com/sports/articles/bernieroids.html

CHER TAPPED TO HEADLINE HARLEY'S 105TH ANNIVERSARY
Harley-Davidson officials, still toasting the success of their 100th anniversary party, unveiled plans today for the next big celebration, Harley's 105th birthday. The most notable announcement was the selection of Cher as the headlining musician for the final concert at Veteran's Park.
onmilwaukee.com/music/articles/cherharley.html

FREEWAY TO OPEN FOR BRITNEY SPEARS
Britney Spears' Onyx Hotel Tour will be taking a wicked turn in April as Wicked Wisdom, a band fronted by Jada Pinkett-Smith, will open for all eight of Spears' U.K. shows, beginning on April 27 in London. And, then she'll localize the rest of her shows, including her Summerfest gig:
onmilwaukee.com/music/articles/freewayspears.html

MILLER TO INTRODUCE NEW HIGH-CARB BEER
SAB Miller Brewing, the company that introduced the first light beer three decades ago, turned the beer industry on its head again Thursday with the unveiling of its latest product, Miller Phat, the nation's first mass-produced high carb malt beverage.
onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/millerphat.html

PURE RELOCATES TO MEQUON
The tree-lined streets of Mequon are about to welcome a new neighbor. The ultra-trendy, futuristic dance club Pure is relocating from downtown Milwaukee in an effort to appeal to a more affluent crowd.
onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/puremequon.html

LOVE MONKEYS VOTED BEST ORIGINAL BAND BY SHEPHERD EXPRESS
Milwaukee's most famous cover band, The Love Monkeys, can add another accolade to their already full mantle: Milwaukee Best Original Band, as voted upon by the readers of The Shepherd Express:
onmilwaukee.com/music/articles/lovemonkeysaward.html

BLATZ BUYS SAB MILLER
Much to the city's surprise, the closing of the Blatz Brewery in Milwaukee turns out to have been just an urban myth, and the company has actually been alive and profiting in secret for decades. So much so, that it has purchased SAB Miller and plans to merge the two breweries under the name "Bmiller."
onmilwaukee.com/bars/articles/blatzapril.html

VITRANO GIVES VIAGRA ONE VERY BIG THUMB UP
WTMJ-TV news viewers got goosed last night when upstanding reporter Vince Vitrano did a rather surprisingly uplifting product test segment on channel 4's 6 o'clock news.
onmilwaukee.com/market/articles/vitranoapril.html

FOX POINT TO BECOME GATED COMMUNITY
The Fox Point village board voted unanimously last Monday night to make the North Shore suburb a gated community. It will be the first gated community in the country with a slight twist: Residents will not be allowed to leave the 2.5-sq. mi. village.
onmilwaukee.com/market/articles/foxpointapril.html

BEASTIE BEAT BECOMES BEASTIE FLOAT THIS SUMMER
It was billed as Wisconsin's largest public-art display last summer. But, this summer, the Beasties won't be parading around downtown, rather they'll be floating down the Milwaukee River.
onmilwaukee.com/market/articles/beastiefloat.html