You may well be concerned about how you are going to get through the next month. Well, worry not.
Here is the long awaited official Dave Begel Guide to Making It Through the Next Month With All The Campaign Crap We Are Going to Get.
Call it election redux as Scott Walker, who has beaten Tom Barrett once already, faces off against Barrett, who has already twice lost races for governor.
The two men will spend the next month making all of our lives miserable while they provide enough entertainment to rival "Dancing With the Stars," "American Idol" and the "America's Funniest Home Videos" all rolled into one.
It will be tough surviving this month, but if you use this guide, your chances are better than even money.
It’s time to learn how to use your DVR or your TIVO. Walker has a gazillion dollars and he and his Super PACs will flood the airways telling us what a cretin Barrett is. Barrett won’t buy as many commercials, but he’ll be around. It’s important to understand that nothing in political ads is true. It’s like an ad claiming that porridge is better than steak. Either skip the ads completely or turn off your TV for a month. It might be time to learn to read again.
Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. Both candidates want us to think the entire campaign is only about jobs. Barrett says Walker has lost jobs. Walker says Barrett can’t create jobs. If you want to sort through this chaff you should understand that government doesn’t really create jobs. Government creates a climate that is welcoming and advantageous to job expansion. Walker has created a state that resembles the Hatfields versus the McCoys. Nobody wants to build a plant here right now. Nobody.
Walker is going to shout that it is "out of state money and special interests" that are funding Barrett’s campaign. This from a guy who got a $500,000 check from a billionaire in Texas. This one falls into the "People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn’t Throw Stones" category.
Rebecca Kleefisch is running for lieutenant governor again. She bills herself as the Chief Marketer for Wisconsin. The only person who thinks Rebecca Kleefisch is the Chief Marketer for Wisconsin is Rebecca Kleefisch. She is a former television reporter which should tell you all you need to know about her qualifications to hold public office.
People will talk about how there is no passion for Barrett and lots of passion for Walker. That’s all true. But don’t forget that there is a ton of passion against Walker. Passion for against passion against. About the most interesting thing in this election.
The last election between Walker and Barrett drew 2.1 million people to the polls. Predictions are that this one could draw 2.5 million. That’s a big anti-Walker vote. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you that the more people vote, the better Democrats do. You can look it up.
We will not see or hear anything genuine or unique from either of these candidates. Everything they say will be filtered through a committee of experts, aides, managers, coaches and allies. If we try to decide what to believe and what not to believe, it’s a pretty safe bet to assume that no candidates actually tell the truth. The good rule of thumb is that if their lips are moving, they are not telling the truth.
Almost everyone has already made up their mind who they are going to vote for. Half the people love Walker. Half hate him. The election will be decided by three lumberjacks from Campbellsport, a BP station cashier in Owen-Withee and the lady who coaches the Milwaukee Bucks dance team.
As a side note, there is apparently no connection between the constant political campaigns and the incredible increase in the sale of guns in Wisconsin.
The best piece of news is that no matter what happens in a month we’ve got to at least wait a year or so before somebody starts another recall effort.
As Tiny Tim said: God Bless Us, Everyone.
With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.
He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.
This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.
Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.