Over the years I've written about various ideas to change the way the deer hunt is run in Wisconsin.
I've suggested that we allow guns but make ammunition illegal. I've suggested that we allow deer to get concealed carry permits. I've suggested mandatory excessive alcohol consumption, hunters having to blow a 3.0 on the drunk-o-meter, thereby guaranteeing they were just moments from sleep.
None of my suggestions has even made a dent, as evidenced by the 600,000 men, women and children who take to the woods, armed to the teeth and blood lust running through their veins.
I'm not giving up, though, and I think I have finally found a winner by taking a leaf from the world of street political demonstrations.
I think we should start an "Occupy the Woods" movement. You remember, of course, Occupy Wall Street. It's an example of what they call "participatory democracy." We've had Occupy Kuala Lumpur and Occupy Toronto and the Arab Spring, and other movements all over the world. But I think we could have a very successful one here.
The theory behind this is that if we flood the woods with people, even deer hunters would be reluctant to let the lead fly. Most of them don't mind murdering a lovely deer, but most of them, I'm sure, draw the line at killing other people.
It's going to be hard, you say, to get people to go into the woods to be potential targets for an orange army of gun totin' macho men?
If we make these occupy movements an organized outing for a wide variety of groups, I think we could pull this off.
Take the Boy Scouts, for example (please, take the Boy Scouts). If the woods were flooded with thousands of young boys wearing scarves it's fair to say that hunters wouldn't want to shoot any. I'd guess that the philosophies of the hunters and Boy Scouts line up pretty good.
Next we could have an outing for the Tea Party. Hunters might kind of lean toward the Tea Party, but thank goodness most of them aren't party members. And even hunters are reluctant to shoot crazy people.
Then Donald Trump could charter a huge jet to fly all the Birthers to Wisconsin to go into the woods. That same rule about crazy people applies.
And finally, one suggestion I'm a little ambivalent about. Some say we should take Congress and all state legislators into the woods and turn them loose.
The only problem I see with that one is a hail of bullets flying in order to create a mercy killing.
With a history in Milwaukee stretching back decades, Dave tries to bring a unique perspective to his writing, whether it's sports, politics, theater or any other issue.
He's seen Milwaukee grow, suffer pangs of growth, strive for success and has been involved in many efforts to both shape and re-shape the city. He's a happy man, now that he's quit playing golf, and enjoys music, his children and grandchildren and the myriad of sports in this state. He loves great food and hates bullies and people who think they are smarter than everyone else.
This whole Internet thing continues to baffle him, but he's willing to play the game as long as OnMilwaukee.com keeps lending him a helping hand. He is constantly amazed that just a few dedicated people can provide so much news and information to a hungry public.
Despite some opinions to the contrary, Dave likes most stuff. But he is a skeptic who constantly wonders about the world around him. So many questions, so few answers.