There's more to being a groom's best man than hiring exotic dancers and making sure to not lose the ring (we've all seen those sitcom episodes!), but most are quick to agree to the job without ever brushing up on the duties required.
We don't want to leave you out in the cold or have you leave the groom without a ride to the church, so here's a guide to what you, as the best man, ought to do -- or at least offer to do -- for your best groom.
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Of course, everyone knows it's your job to plan a bachelor party for the groom and the groomsmen and anyone else you want to invite. It's probably best not to invite folks, however, who aren't invited to the wedding. Presumably the groom is a good pal or a relative, so you know him well. Make his party a reflection of who he is and what he enjoys. It doesn't have to be a drunken stripper-fest, you know.
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There's other work to do before the big day. Help the busy groom organize the rental and fittings of tuxedos. Help him plan the day's transportation, whether by renting limos or by coordinating private cars. Be his designated driver on wedding day.
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Don't forget to go to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and be attentive to the groom's needs (this is true for the wedding day, too, of course).
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Help him get dressed and ready. And make sure he gets to the church on time. Ensure that he remembers the bride's ring. Better yet, hold it for him and give it to him at the altar or to the ring bearer before the ceremony. Take him out for breakfast or lunch -- before you put on the nice clothes, fellas -- so he's not starving during his busy day. Remember, he and the bride won't likely have time to eat with everyone else at the reception.
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Tips! The wedding industry is big business and everyone has their hand out expecting a tip or payment of some kind, from DJs to servers to limo drivers and beyond. Make sure they're taken care of so the groom can focus on what's important.
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Maid of honor. You'll likely accompany her up and down the aisle and dance with her at the reception. But you should also join the maid of honor in the receiving line greeting guests and you will welcome guests to the reception and you'll both make toasts at the event, too. And you will be expected to sign the marriage license and any other official documents.
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You'll join the couple for their photos and should help ensure that everything goes smoothly.
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At the close of the reception, collect any remaining cards or gifts and deliver them to the bride and groom's home or that of their parents, if there will be a gift opening there the following day (which you'll, of course, attend). Make sure the groom has some clothes to leave in and make sure his tuxedo goes with him and gets returned on time.
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You may also be expected to drive the bride and groom home or to a hotel or airport, if there is no limousine waiting.
The job of the best man is to make sure that everything goes as planned by providing much needed assistance to a groom who has a lot on his mind. So, don't limit yourself to the above. If he needs a drink, get it for him, if he needs to plug the parking meter, cough up some quarters and run outside. If he needs a smoke, open the window and flick your Bic.
Born in Brooklyn, N.Y., where he lived until he was 17, Bobby received his BA-Mass Communications from UWM in 1989 and has lived in Walker's Point, Bay View, Enderis Park, South Milwaukee and on the East Side.
He has published three non-fiction books in Italy – including one about an event in Milwaukee history, which was published in the U.S. in autumn 2010. Four more books, all about Milwaukee, have been published by The History Press.
With his most recent band, The Yell Leaders, Bobby released four LPs and had a songs featured in episodes of TV's "Party of Five" and "Dawson's Creek," and films in Japan, South America and the U.S. The Yell Leaders were named the best unsigned band in their region by VH-1 as part of its Rock Across America 1998 Tour. Most recently, the band contributed tracks to a UK vinyl/CD tribute to the Redskins and collaborated on a track with Italian novelist Enrico Remmert.
He's produced three installments of the "OMCD" series of local music compilations for OnMilwaukee.com and in 2007 produced a CD of Italian music and poetry.
In 2005, he was awarded the City of Asti's (Italy) Journalism Prize for his work focusing on that area. He has also won awards from the Milwaukee Press Club.
He has be heard on 88Nine Radio Milwaukee talking about his "Urban Spelunking" series of stories, in that station's most popular podcast.
