Wah wah wah, a couple of crybaby public figures faced the cameras and complained about how they were the victims in messes of their own making.
"Dr." Laura Schlessinger joined buddy Larry King on CNN Tuesday night to talk about how she apologized for her use of the ultimate racial slur on her syndicated radio show.
"There are people who won't accept my apology," she said.
And then she went with an announcement that somehow lacked drama.
"My contract is up for my radio show at the end of the year and I've made the decision not to do radio anymore," she said.
"I want to regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what's on my mind, and in my heart and what I think is helpful and useful without somebody getting angry, some special interest group deciding this is a time to silence a voice of dissent, and attack affiliates and attack sponsors."
She had some difficulty in explaining to King how she didn't have that freedom in front of a radio microphone.
"You're giving up the one area of your fame," said King.
"Oh, my dear, I write books, I have blogs, I have my Web site."
Of course, all that exists because she's a radio personality.
And her argument that she's quitting because enemies are trying to silence her doesn't make sense, since by quitting, she's silencing herself.
It's not the first odd move by this odd radio personality. She began by offering personal advice, telling callers to "take on the day."
She morphed into an Orthodox Jewish moralist, hectoring callers to "do the right thing." The "right thing," of course, was whatever she decided it was.
That version of "Dr." Laura changed when she dropped the religious orthodoxy, a move that came as she was losing affiliates.
She'll end her radio career with a couple hundred affiliates, but those stations don't include some major markets, like Chicago.
Speaking of Chicago, disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich lost in Federal Court in that city Tuesday when he was found guilty on one of the two dozen counts against him. He's facing re-trial on the other 23, after one lone juror caused a deadlock.
Sounds like an old sitcom, which fits with a pol whose career has been tragi-comic.
Blagojevich, himself a wannabe radio talker on WLS-AM (890), didn't take the stand in his own defense. It's the first time in memory that he was convinced to shut up.
But on the way out of court, the veteran of Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" couldn't pass up a chance to go on camera again and plead victimhood. "This is a persecution," he said. "This is a fight for the very freedoms that we as Americans enjoy."
It really does sound like he and the good "Dr." would make a great broadcast team, when she decides to get back into radio, and he gets out of the pokey.
On TV: Monday night's premiere of Showtime's "The Big C" brought in just over a million viewers, the biggest audience for an original series premiere on the premium movie channel in eight years.
- SyFy has ordered a fifth season of "Eureka" to air next year.
- Fantasia Barrino survived a suicide attempt on Aug. 9. Next Tuesday, she'll perform live on ABC's "Good Morning America."
- ABC has signed a deal to continue to air "Peanuts" specials for the next five years.
Zsa Zsa's legacy: One-time glamour queen Zsa Zsa Gabor, said to be near death, deserves to be remembered for helping to create our modern celebrity culture.
While she made a few movies, I defy you to name one. She was a guest on TV shows, but they're forgettable. There's an apocryphal story about an off-color joke by Johnny Carson on his old "Tonight Show." But that's not even true.
The last time she was really a headliner was back in 1989, when she slapped a Beverly Hills cop who pulled her over.
But her use of her looks and trademark gushing of the Hungarian-accented "daaahling" when she was speaking to someone on camera helped pave the way for generations of lightly-talented female celebs, like Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton and the Kardashian girls.
If only Zsa Zsa's prime come in the "reality" TV age, she would have been bigger than all of them.
Here's a mid-1960s clip that might give you some idea of her talents:
Tim Cuprisin is the media columnist for OnMilwaukee.com. He's been a journalist for 30 years, starting in 1979 as a police reporter at the old City News Bureau of Chicago, a legendary wire service that's the reputed source of the journalistic maxim "if your mother says she loves you, check it out." He spent a couple years in the mean streets of his native Chicago, and then moved on to the Green Bay Press-Gazette and USA Today, before coming to the Milwaukee Journal in 1986.
A general assignment reporter, Cuprisin traveled Eastern Europe on several projects, starting with a look at Poland after five years of martial law, and a tour of six countries in the region after the Berlin Wall opened and Communism fell. He spent six weeks traversing the lands of the former Yugoslavia in 1994, linking Milwaukee Serbs, Croats and Bosnians with their war-torn homeland.
In the fall of 1994, a lifetime of serious television viewing earned him a daily column in the Milwaukee Journal (and, later the Journal Sentinel) focusing on TV and radio. For 15 years, he has chronicled the changes rocking broadcasting, both nationally and in Milwaukee, an effort he continues at OnMilwaukee.com.
When he's not watching TV, Cuprisin enjoys tending to his vegetable garden in the backyard of his home in Whitefish Bay, cooking and traveling.