By Jimmy Carlton Sportswriter Published Feb 19, 2016 at 5:57 PM

Spring training has begun, and the Brewers, as a Major League Baseball team officially competing in the 2016 season, are taking part in it.

We’ve heard all about the process of the rebuild, which has already brought in a lot of young talent, but that doesn’t mean we know much about the new players. There are 57 of them down in Arizona, including a couple dozen that most Milwaukee fans have never heard of. Only 25 will be on the Opening Day roster in April.

In recent years, Brewers spring training has meant not only sunshine and split-squad games, but also scorpion stings and a stray dog becoming the club’s unofficial mascot. Will this season’s version be crazy? Weird? Boring? Surprisingly competent? All we can do is wait and see.

Some players will struggle, some will break out and some may step on a cactus. In honor of the organization’s youth – GM David Stearns just turned 31, manager Craig Counsell is 45 and more than half of the 40-man roster was born after 1990 – we’re taking a page out of the high school yearbook for this preseason preview.

Including age, position, likelihood of making the Opening Day roster (lock, likely, unlikely, longshot) and reason for winning, here are the Brewers’ spring training superlatives:

Best name: Damien Magnifico, 24, reliever, unlikely

Come on.

Best-looking: Garin Cecchini, 24, third baseman, unlikely

I mean, come on.

Most likely to succeed (in spring training but get sent down anyway): Jorge Lopez, 23, starter, unlikely

Lopez was a dominant pitcher in AA last year, but there are six starters in front of him and the Brewers don’t need him yet.

Most likely to be president: Jonathan Lucroy, 29, catcher, lock

Though he put his foot in his mouth somewhat with trade comments in the offseason, the veteran clubhouse leader is still the face of the franchise and he attended the State of the Union address last year with Senator Ron Johnson.

Best driver: Chase Anderson, 28, starter, likely

He’s got 12 years of behind-the-wheel experience and some of the best control on the staff.

Most athletic: Keon Broxton, 25, center fielder, unlikely

Broxton has a full box of physical tools, especially speed and power, but he hasn’t yet put them all together.

Most selfish: Matt Garza, 32, starter, lock

He said so himself!

Class clown: Will Smith, 26, reliever, lock

Without Carlos Gomez and his antics, this honor goes to the extroverted Smith, who showed his fun side at Brewers On Deck – after showing his angry, impish side in a game last year.

Best dressed: Ryan Braun, 32, right fielder, lock

The guy with the biggest checking account can buy the best threads.

Most friendly: Brett Phillips, 21, right/center fielder, longshot

He impressed fans and media with his charisma at Brewers On Deck, especially while teaming with his mom to co-win Jeopardy.

Manager’s pet: Chris Capuano, 37, reliever, unlikely

He and Counsell were teammates in Milwaukee in the mid-2000s and Cappy, who’s not on the 40-man roster, may need to brown nose a bit to convince the Brewers he’s got something left in the tank.

Most likely to not get into a Phoenix bar: Orlando Arcia, 21, shortstop, longshot

The Brewers’ top prospect is old enough to drink, but he sure doesn’t look it.

Most likely to have his name spelled wrong on his jersey: Kirk Nieuwenhuis, 28, left fielder, longshot

Just a whole lot of letters going on there.

Most likely to be the undisputed postgame buffet champion: Wily Peralta, 26, starter, lock

At 6-foot-1 and 245 points, the power pitcher can really pack it in.

Most likely to be the closer: Jeremy Jeffress, 28, reliever, lock

The former top prospect’s 96 mph fastball would be a great weapon to have in the event that the Brewers are in a save situation at some point this season.

Most likely to hit 30 homers: Chris Carter, 29, first baseman, likely

Domingo Santana, the probable right fielder, would be a decent bet, but the smarter money’s on the guy that averaged 30 homers a season over the past three years.

Most likely to start at shortstop: Jonathan Villar, 24, shortstop, likely

The November trade acquisition from Houston is well-liked by Stearns and considered the leading candidate for the job vacated by Jean Segura.

Most likely to be the Opening Day starter: Jimmy Nelson, 26, starter, lock

The homegrown righty was the best pitcher in the rotation last year and deserves the honor this season.

Jimmy Carlton Sportswriter

Born in Milwaukee but a product of Shorewood High School (go ‘Hounds!) and Northwestern University (go ‘Cats!), Jimmy never knew the schoolboy bliss of cheering for a winning football, basketball or baseball team. So he ditched being a fan in order to cover sports professionally - occasionally objectively, always passionately. He's lived in Chicago, New York and Dallas, but now resides again in his beloved Brew City and is an ardent attacker of the notorious Milwaukee Inferiority Complex.

After interning at print publications like Birds and Blooms (official motto: "America's #1 backyard birding and gardening magazine!"), Sports Illustrated (unofficial motto: "Subscribe and save up to 90% off the cover price!") and The Dallas Morning News (a newspaper!), Jimmy worked for web outlets like CBSSports.com, where he was a Packers beat reporter, and FOX Sports Wisconsin, where he managed digital content. He's a proponent and frequent user of em dashes, parenthetical asides, descriptive appositives and, really, anything that makes his sentences longer and more needlessly complex.

Jimmy appreciates references to late '90s Brewers and Bucks players and is the curator of the unofficial John Jaha Hall of Fame. He also enjoys running, biking and soccer, but isn't too annoying about them. He writes about sports - both mainstream and unconventional - and non-sports, including history, music, food, art and even golf (just kidding!), and welcomes reader suggestions for off-the-beaten-path story ideas.