While watching the Brewers at Miller Park last night, some drunk jackass ran out onto the field. He sprinted to the outfield, then turned left as a dozen security guards gave chase. He made a few good moves and was ultimately tackled hard.
The people around me groaned with disgust while this dude's antics held up the action for about two minutes. Secretly, though, I enjoyed this little act of civil disobedience.
Sure, the guy was interfering with the game. But I liked watching the chase, the takedown and his unapologetic escort of the field.
Look, I'm not saying I'm gonna go charge the field, but here are 10 little, mostly innocuous acts of civil disobedience that entertain me. Judge me, if you will, but I like watching people get a little naughty sometimes:
Running out onto the field: Mentioned above. I never know why TV refuses to show these chases. Like broadcasting them will encourage more antics. The best instances are when the guy running onto the field performs a sports-appropriate move, like sliding into second or tackling a football player.
Public nudity: This one is dicey. For every one person you'd like to see show some skin in public, there are 10 who you wouldn't. That said, I'll take my chances.
Swearing on TV: Mostly seen in sports replays, when you can clearly see a player mouthing profanity-laden rants. The perfect example is when someone swears, live, and it can be clearly heard. Usually, this is followed with a few seconds of dead air. Bonus points if it happens on the local news.
Jaywalking (when it doesn't cause me to swerve out of the way): Safety first, of course, but I'm supportive of pedestrians making their own rules about when to walk and when not to walk.
Drinking in public: Otherwise known as summer in Milwaukee. I like watching people walk down the street drinking a beer, as long as they're relatively well-behaved. By contrast, I hate public urination. Hold it or find a toilet, Kerry Wood.
Flashing your lights to inform that a cop is ahead: The ultimate "pay it forward" move. When someone you don't know or never will see again blinks his headlights to let you know a cop is waiting in the median a mile up, that guy just saved you $200 and three points on your license.
Very, very clever graffiti: This is extremely rare, and I hate tagging with a passion. It's cowardly, usually illegible and expensive to remove. I can barely think of an example in which the graffiti was so great that I could overlook the negatives. I like, though, when people stick a little red sticker with white writing below the words on a stop sign that says something like "global warming." Easy to remove and no one gets hurt. But speaking of getting hurt, check out this crazy Milwaukee graffiti story: Several years ago, an idiot tagger died after falling through a vacant building in the Menomonee Valley. His even dumber friends basically let him bleed to death by refusing to give 911 enough information to find him, fearing they'd get busted. The late tagger's handle was "FCR," meaning "fat chicks rule." As a belated dedication, his friends spray painted a gigantic "FCR" on the side of an abandoned silo by Summerfest. Look for it, it's huge, and in its own way, tragically interesting.
Strapping ridiculous things to a car: I like watching people tie down a queen-sized mattress to the roof of their tiny cars, attempting to hold it in place with their hands outside the window. And yes, I've done it, too.
Not plugging meters, and when caught, writing snarky comments on checks to pay parking tickets: With some exceptions, I think parking tickets are a scam to increase city revenue. Sure, they make sense so people don't park in one space Downtown for 12 hours, but please tell me how the ambiguous even/odd overnight street parking and permitting system makes any sense. So I love rolling the dice on not plugging meters. If I do get caught, I try to write something snotty on the check. I'm sure DPW could care less, but at least I entertain myself for a minute or two as I fork over $20.
Sneaking outside food into a movie theater: Paying $7 for popcorn and $4 for soda just rubs me the wrong way. As if ticket prices aren't high enough, having to sit through 10 minutes of actual commercials before the movie makes me feel perfectly justified in sneaking in a can of soda and box of Sour Patch Kids.
Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.
Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.
Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.
