One of the many hilarious scenes in the 1984 movie "This is Spinal Tap" takes place backstage at fictional Vandermint Auditorium, where guitarist Nigel Tufnel complains to band manager Ian Faith about the "arrangements backstage."
In other words, he's not happy with the deli tray.
The miniature rye bread and unstuffed olives make Tufnel (played by Christopher Guest) crazy, but, after venting a bit, he proclaims: "I'll rise above it. I'm a professional, right?"
With hundreds of musicians set to visit the Summerfest grounds when the Big Gig opens its annual 11-day run Thursday at Henry Maier Festival Park, we wondered if life imitates art.
Are musicians as picky about their backstage appointments as Nigel Tufnel? Will bands really trash a room if they find a brown M&M in a bowl?
"It can happen," said Bob Babisch, the festival's vice president of entertainment. "I've seen it."
Babisch, who has been meeting artists' needs since the late 1970s, said that the concert business has changed over the years. Artists still submit a concert "rider," which is a list of backstage requirements for food and accommodations, but the contents of those lists is a bit different than decades ago.
"Nowadays, it's become such a business," he said. "In the old days, you just threw Jack Daniels around like it was water. Now, it's all macrobiotic meals. There is not much alcohol that ends up on tour buses.
"It's a big business. With some of these bigger tours, you've got 100 people out on the road. If they're on the road and working six days a week and they want china and silverware and cloth napkins. Why not? I would want that, too."
Babisch declined to list specific items in band riders ("I'll let you know after the festival," he said.), but he did talk about the evolution of the requirements.
"I used to get six-page wine lists," he said. "They would say ‘Give me two from each page.' The brown M&M story was true. I was there. I've been doing this so long that I start to run into the same tour managers. Back in the old days, we'd be sharing a drink during the show. Now, we show pictures of our kids to each other. I literally see the same guys every year; they may be out with different bands sometimes, but it's still the same people."
Take a look at any concert rider and the first item listed is generally towels. Plenty of towels. Most acts require that they be washed and folded and not fresh out of the box.
The bigger acts will request specific furniture for various dressing rooms and different foods to feed the band and crew. Some acts even ask for pairs of underwear or socks to avoid the hassle of doing laundry on the road.
"Most of it is catering," Babisch said. "There are a lot of organic and vegetarian requests. But, the bands have it down. A lot of them say ‘If it's Monday, I want this. If it's Tuesday, I want this.' They'll say ‘I want this kind of tea.' They want a certain kind of coffee, maybe a certain kind of vodka. It's not just a case of Jack Daniels anymore."
With help from thesmokinggun.com, which lists the contracts of dozens of acts, here are some recent requirements mandated by bands that will be performing at Summerfest:
Ludacris -- This is a guy who likes to chill out before the show by watching a big-screen TV that is equipped with a DVD player, PlayStation or Xbox. The rider also calls for a fresh juice service station, with a juicer and blender ready to make fresh juices and smoothies from a supply of fruits and vegetables including carrots, celery, beets, ginger root, apples, oranges, bananas and spinach. The rider also calls for chicken wings for 10, two cases of bottled water (No Dasani!), and a selection of drinks including Heineken, white zinfandel, Hennessy, Bombay Gin and Grand Marnier. Ludacris likes to stay healthy on the road, so he requests some multi-vitamins from General Nutrition Center.
Toby Keith -- The burly country star's rider on the Smoking Gun site was relatively tame, with a fruit tray, regular Coke, bottled water and a supply of Newcastle Brown Ale.
Styx -- The band from Chicago apparently likes to munch on pizza before the show. Two large pies must be delivered 90 minutes before the concert. Other requests include some Smart Start cereal and a supply of Balance Bars (not granola or PowerBars). Somebody in the traveling party has a sweet tooth, because the band asks for assorted candy, including miniature Snickers.
Journey -- These guys are getting on in years, so the rider asks for a massage therapist to be available before the show.
John Mayer -- The guitar guru's list is long, detailed and a bit eccentric. Mayer asks for an array of organic foods, but he also requires four soft-head toothbrushes, Listerine, packs of Tom's of Maine or Sensodyne mint toothpaste and four organic lip balm tubes. Mayer also wants a copy of The New York Times, two tubes of Krazy Glue (presumably for fingertip blisters), a bottle of French or Italian wine ($30 minimum), two packs of Altoids breath mints, three cases of bottled water, a supply of Stella Artois beer and at least one "kid's brand" of cereal such as Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms, Count Chocula, Cookie Crisp or Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Bon Jovi -- With guitarist Richie Sambora fresh out of rehab, the boys may curtail the alcohol supply. But, the rider on the Smoking Gun site asks for two bottles of Mouton Cadet wine along with the usual Heineken, Coke, Sprite and Diet Sprite.
Host of “The Drew Olson Show,” which airs 1-3 p.m. weekdays on The Big 902. Sidekick on “The Mike Heller Show,” airing weekdays on The Big 920 and a statewide network including stations in Madison, Appleton and Wausau. Co-author of Bill Schroeder’s “If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers” on Triumph Books. Co-host of “Big 12 Sports Saturday,” which airs Saturdays during football season on WISN-12. Former senior editor at OnMilwaukee.com. Former reporter at the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.