By Andy Tarnoff Publisher Published Jul 30, 2008 at 12:14 PM Photography: Allen Fredrickson

Sorry I've been a little negative in the blogosphere lately. I'm really a generally happy guy, but last night's display at Miller Park put me in a surly mood.

I don't want to generalize, but I must: I really hate Cubs fans.

There's a right way and a wrong way to root for your team in an opponent's stadium. I speak from experience, having seen the Brewers play on the road several times.

The right way is to clap and cheer and be respectful. The wrong way is to heckle, insult, taunt and jeer, to act like you own the place, when you should remember that you're a welcomed guest.

When the loyal and intelligent Cardinals fans come to Milwaukee, they behave with class and grace. Happy to be here, pleasant and eager to strike up a conversation about their proud and storied franchise.

When Cubs fans show up, it's a sea of drunken douchebags, flailing around, chests puffed out, clueless about the sport and their team's dubious place in baseball history.

Of course, getting spanked by the Cubs leaves us Brewers fans little chance to retort. We can't reply with my favorite, one-word response, "Scoreboard." We can't say, "Look at the standings, FIB, now shut up and go home."

The Cubs beat the Brewers fair and square in the first two games of this series. While a Sabathia or Sheets shut out would've quieted down those soused, Sosa-supporting Chicagoans, nothing else would, and that's 100 percent our fault. The Brewers look like deer in the headlights right now, and they need to get their act together, pronto.

But in reality, the Cubs fans don't have much to be proud of. Not only have they not won anything in 100 years (we haven't won anything at all, but the franchise has only existed for a mere 38 years), they sport a $118 million payroll in 2008, compared to the Brewers' $81 million.

In short, they should be in first place.

Let me make this perfectly clear: my hatred of Cubs fans is more than just an alleged inferiority complex to Chicago. Yeah, it's fun to talk smack, but I have a great time whenever I visit the Windy City. And I don't feel this way about White Sox fans, or even Bears fans. The South Siders are a lot like us: passionate, loyal and hardworking.

I feel sorry for Sox fans, really. Even after they won the World Series, they're still second-class citizens in Chitown. Of course, maybe that's because the "Baby Bears" are owned by the Tribune (for now) and get a disproportionate amount of coverage.

Seriously, Cubs fans exude a sense of entitlement that they don't deserve.

Tell me if this profile of the "lovable loser" aficionado is off-base: 22-years-old, Fukodome jersey or popped collar Abercrombie polo, floppy hat or backwards cap, neatly-trimmed goatee, cut-off jeans or cargo shorts, flip-flops, drunk on Old Style, going nuts for every routine pop up, screaming "let's go Cubbies," interlaced with profanity, right in the face of some little kids.

Does Joe "Lincoln Park" Six-Pack know anything about the history of the franchise? Has he watched the team through thick and thin? Or does he just trek up to "Wrigley North" as an excuse to get hammered and rowdy with 30,000 of his closest friends?

I'm guessing the latter.

And no, of course I don't hate all Cubs fans. Just the ones I'm describing in the previous 500 words. I'm sure there are plenty of upstanding Chicagoans who love their team and its legacy. 

But to the rest of you: Hey, thanks for coming to Milwaukee and spending your money. We appreciate it. We'll see on Sept. 16 at that run-down dump you call the "friendly confines."

You'll know who we are: we'll be the fans respectfully cheering on the Brewers and not going out of our way to ruin your good time.


Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.

Before launching in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.

Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.