Nobody ever said college football coaches were smart.

Most can coach. Give them that. Thinking is another story altogether.

This has been a year filled with upsets aplenty in the BCS standings -- and there may be few left yet -- but a year also filled with angst, controversy, loathing, and outright stupidity when it comes to the men in headsets.

So, without further ado, here are your "College Football 2007 Coaching Awards That Nobody Will Want to Come to the Podium To Accept."

Story of the Year: Charlie Weis
The Irish were unbelievably bad. And for an offensive "genius" to have an offense ranked DEAD LAST in Division I, well that's rich! The posse that wants Weiss to be fired now, is vocal and persistent. Ironically, it's mostly from people outside of South Bend, and with no connection to the program. These people want Weis fired for, essentially, retribution for the perceived premature firing of Ty Willingham. And they are rabid! Look, smart football people saw that Notre Dame was going to struggle this year. It was worse than expected. Weis deserves one more year to at least show progress. If they don't make a bowl next year, then feel free to pull the ripcord. But let's not make this a crusade, people. Let the Ty thing go. It was hardly the outrage that revisionist history is making it out to be. Go to Yahoo.com and type in his name. The first story that pops up is about him getting fired from Notre Dame. Oh yeah, this just in: Ty is currently 4-7 at Washington. He's gonna need to worry about keeping that job, too.

Free Fall of the Year: Bill Callahan
Huskers athletic director -- now sacked -- Steve Pederson called Callahan "a rare find" when he hired him in 2004. The official Nebraska website wrote this summer: "After finishing 2005 with three straight victories, Callahan's Huskers continued the momentum throughout the 2006 campaign." Momentum, stopped. The Huskers have given up 49, 45, 41, 76 and 65 points en route to a bowl-less 5-7 record. (Oh yeah, don't forget the Ball State near-debacle, a 41-40 win thanks to a missed game-winner from the Flying Lettermans at the gun. Egad.) The Huskers' vaunted "Black Shirt" defense was easier to score on than a teenage farm girl from Omaha in a hayloft. After last year, Pederson got an extension. Oops. Callahan got an extension. Double-oops. Tom Osborne has been hired to "fix" it all, but good luck to him. The new school concept of Nebraska recruiting nationally, and running a pro-style offense just ain't happenin' these days. Time to go back to more farm boys and the wishbone.

Strategic Blunder of the Year (Runner-up): Pete Carroll
Think about this: if USC had just held off stupid, lousy Stanford at home, they would likely be one win away from playing for the National Championship. Instead, the sometimes waaaaayyyy too laid back Carroll allowed John David Booty to play the second half while hurt, throwing four INTs, while the Trojans rushed for just 95 yards -- well below their average of 230. No wonder this guy tanked in the pros.

Strategic Blunder of the Year (Grand Prize): Les Miles
Needing just a field goal to beat Auburn with seconds left, Miles decides to leave his last time out in his pocket, and throw -- THROW -- for a touchdown. You can't even flow chart how this "decision" must have been made in his tiny coaching brain. It doesn't matter that it worked. It was still a jaw-dropping blunder. It would be like an inmate in a max security jail having a clear tunnel to crawl out to freedom from under his bed. But, he decides to steal a guard's gun and shoot his way through central lockdown instead.

Moron of the Year (Or the Century): Dennis Franchione
The same guy that lied his way out of Alabama a few years ago for Texas A&M decides that his million dollar salary wasn't quite enough to live comfortably in College Station. So he sets up a secret website that sells "inside information" to subscribers for a few grand a year. He conveniently doesn't tell his bosses about this website, for fear of them saying: "Are you f*&%^* kidding!?" Here's an inside tip: Coach Fran is no longer a "hot property" in the college ranks.

Jackass Stunt of the Year: Mark Richt
Sending his team into the end zone for a penalty inspiring celebration was flirting with the gods of college football mayhem against Florida. Remember when coaches knew how to teach their players the basics of sportsmanship? There have been too many ugly brawls (Florida International vs. Miami, South Carolina vs. Clemson) for a coach to play with matches like that.

Lack of Perspective Award: Nick Saban
Hey Nick, here's a clue: losing to Louisiana-Monroe may SEEM like an Alabama version of Sept. 11 or the Holocaust, but the rest of the civilized, rational thinking world knows that it's still just a stupid football game. Use different analogies, or better yet, just cut your press conference short and get back to practice.

Insane Rant of the Year: Mike Gundy
"I'm a man! I'm 40!" This sound bite will assume legend status in my industry of sports radio, right alongside Jim Mora's "Playoffs? Don't talk to me about playoffs!" and Allen Iverson's "Practice ... we talkin' practice!"