No matter how much either side wants to admit it, the upcoming labor war in baseball is like the elephant in the back of the room. It's impossible to ignore. The first pitch has yet to be thrown and already the upcoming season is psychologically compromised. No matter what conciliatory words are spoken, you can hear the owners' war drums pounding in the distance.
The A-Rod contract was Pearl Harbor and the follow-up greed from Barry Bonds, Frank Thomas and Gary Sheffield represented the naked financial aggression that owners will be determined to crush this time at the labor table. Enjoy the summer and then hunker down.
--As bad as the XFL ratings have been, let's not forget which "major" sport owns the record for lowest prime time rating in network history. It's the NHL, with Game 3 of last year's Stanley Cup Finals notching a mere 2.3 national rating on ABC on a Saturday night.
There are plenty of reasons why hockey fails to score on TV like the NFL, NBA or MLB. And it's not just that the puck is hard to see. Otherwise, the glowing blue electronic "urinal puck" by Fox would have boosted ratings.
A big part of the problem, is too many foreign born players with utterly incomprehensible names. Pavol Demitra. Nikolai Khabibulin. Dmitri Khristich. Or, my favorite, Stan Neckar. Which is pronounced, "nets-CASH" not "neck-CAR" as you would think.
No guy in Kentucky named "Bubba" will get into a league whose stars have these kind of names. Baseball has plenty of non-Americans, but they have names that are simple to pronounce and even easier to remember. Names like Juan Gonzalez and Pedro Martinez. There's a good chance you know a guy named Juan or Pedro. If you know someone named Nikolai or Dmitri, you are probably a spy.
The NHL should immediately issue all foreign-born players with Eastern European names, a new "stage name" while playing in the league. Some cool hockey "stage names" could be "Billy Rocket," "Whammer Jones" and "Max Blade." Hey, if it's good enough for strippers and weathermen...
--One more reason why the NBA is going straight to hell and why sports fans are so cynical these days: Shane Battier. The Duke forward spent four years in college and is, without question, the nation's best all-around player. He has a killer long range shot for a rugged forward, uncanny defensive instincts and a leader's mentality.
He's an absolute no-risk proposition as a person and as a pro. Our cynicism comes when we know that probably two kids out of high school will be drafted ahead of Battier this June. These punks have no credentials, no accomplishments and no clue how to really play the game. But the NBA and its coaches will drink the suicide Kool-Aid known as "potential" and "upside." May the league, as we now know it, rot in hell.
--It cost the Buccaneers exactly $100 to pick up Ryan Leaf off of waivers last week. I always wondered why the NFL made teams whip out the Benjamin for these transactions. Did they not think being placed on waivers was humiliating enough for a player? There are, ahem, how shall I put this? Ummm, let's say "services" that you can't get for $100 on most street corners. But you can get a washed up former number-two overall pick. Go figure.
--I have been in a coma since the Ali-Frazier fight of 1971. I wake up this week, and read in the newspaper that their daughters will fight each other in June at an Indian Casino in upstate New York. I ask my doctors: "Is this a misprint? Their daughters?" My doctors shake their heads, no. I ask the doctors to please put me back into my coma.
--Tiger Woods may not win a single golf tournament this summer. Less intimidated opponents, a prolonged putting slump, bad luck or a combination of those and other factors could well conspire to shut out the planet's best golfer.
Remember, Tiger only plays the heavyweight events and it's not a busy schedule. Golf is a merciless and fickle mistress. In what other sport can you fall so quickly from star to starving?
Ask Ian Baker Finch or Corey Pavin. Hell, Ben Crenshaw won the Masters in 1995 following the emotional loss of long-time teacher Harvey Penick. And since? One top-10 finish with just one made cut in 34 events. Said a rueful Crenshaw about the very same game he loves, "It's an endless foe."
Granted, Crenshaw is an aging, short-knocker who took time off to captain the Ryder Cup and, certainly, Tiger is not finished. But you don't think that the cruelest of sports cares that Tiger won 10 events and three majors last year, do you? Trust me, it doesn't.
--If you want a good mental "shower" to wash off the sickening thought of so-called "professional" ballplayers like Sheffield, read the Nomar Garciaparra article in Sports Illustrated last week. Show it to your kids or kids you coach.
Remember that for every Sheffield, there are just as many Nomars who are working out six hours a day in the "off-season," because winning is the only thing on their mind. Just don't leave it lying around your desk at the office. The cover photo of a shirtless and buffed out Nomar makes it look like you've subscribed to "Men's Torso" magazine.
--Correct me if I'm wrong, but how come only the good guys in sports get cut short in their prime with injuries? Until this month, when it became clear that Albert (Joey) Belle is all but done as a player, bad guys never got what they deserved. While Darryl Strawberry got eight zillion chances, Kirby Puckett, Bo Jackson and many others were sent home way too early.
It's official: the sports world we live in has become "Bizzaro-Sports-World." Why? Because in baseball, Sheffield can yell at the top of his lungs that he wants to be traded, call his team's CEO a liar, bash his teammates' salaries, and the commissioner does nothing. In the NBA, Kevin Garnett merely says he'd like to have former teammate Joe Smith back with Minnesota next year when he becomes a free agent. And their commissioner threatens stiff fines and a potential for more draft pick sanctions. Helloooooooo? Is anybody out there?
--Don Ohlmeyer "fixed" Monday Night Football like Dan Snyder "fixed" the Redskins. Now let's just hope that Eric Dickerson becomes a "cap casualty" and Melissa Stark moves up the depth chart.
Steve is a native Washingtonian and has worked in sports talk radio for the last 11 years. He worked at WTEM in 1993 anchoring Team Tickers before he took a full time job with national radio network One-on-One Sports.
A graduate of UC Santa Barbara, Steve has worked for WFNZ in Charlotte where his afternoon show was named "Best Radio Show." Steve continues to serve as a sports personality for WLZR in Milwaukee and does fill-in hosting for Fox Sports Radio.
