It's Week 8. It's Halloween. It's the fantasy forecast. And it's you being entertained by Brett Favre costumes, Nancy Pelosi good looks and Matt Schauf face slaps. Good luck.

Starting "player A" is like...

Starting Peyton Manning against the Texans is like going to a 2010 costume party and seeing a guy dressed up as Brett Favre with a taped ankle, set of crutches, an iPhone full of Ron Jeremy waist-level photos, and a porn shop life-sized piece of rubber attached to the speedo that covers his small package. Yeah, it's pretty much a guarantee.

Starting Marques Colston against the Steelers is like when those young punks show up at my door with no costume expecting to free load off my stash of candy. If they don't bring their A-game, they leave my front porch with an empty bag. There are no guarantees for just showing up.

Starting Frank Gore against the Broncos is like watching Texas Chain Saw Massacre. You always know what's coming next when the chainsaw is revved up, and there is always one predator and more than a handful being preyed on.

Starting Brandon Jackson against the Jets defense is like a five year old dressed in a Mickey Mouse costume hoping for a king-sized pack of M&Ms from the 80-year old bald man who lives by himself in seclusion and hates children. Sorry BJ, you get half a tootsie roll.

Starting Calvin Johnson against the Redskins is like a teenager smashing little Suzie's hand carved pumpkin. It looks appealing and cool to the teenager on the outside, but if he/she truly knew anything about the orange face they were smashing they would probably feel so bad that the pumpkin pie they ate two hours prior would be the whipped topping to the smashed pieces.

Random Tidbits

This season has been one helluva nightmare for Vikings quarterback Brett Favre. He can't get in a groove with any of his receivers, his quarterback rating is the fourth worst in the NFL, his limp woody isn't getting any love, and his ankle is supposedly in worse shape than his ego. Heading in to the Vikings' matchup against the Patriots, Favre remains a game day decision but don't be surprised if he suits up just to keep his Ripken streak alive. It's ashame Favre is not even 80 percent healthy though, as New England is allowing a third-worst 282.0 passing yards per game. It would be a perfect opportunity for Favre to raise that horrifying quarterback rating. Tarvaris Jackson will go if Favre can't.

Panthers running back DeAngelo Williams missed a third straight practice this week due to a foot injury and is doubtful for Carolina's showdown with the Rams on Sunday. This means that Jonathan Stewart will get the bulk of the work in the backfield. However, I refuse to say that J-Stew is a must start due to the bad luck I've already had with him to this point. Just know that 20-25 carries and a touchdown may be reasonable expectations for the 2010 fantasy bust; at least to this point.

After taking a look at the game book after Tony Romo exited against the Giants I have to wonder if rookie Dez Bryant was rejoicing on the sidelines. Bryant followed Romo's departure by returning a second quarter punt 93 yards, and catching two fourth quarter touchdowns; four for 54 yards for the game. Meanwhile, Miles Austin caught just three passes for 38 yards, and was completely irrelevant in the grand scheme. Was last week's game Bryant's fantasy coming out party? Is it time to sell Austin?

Four Downs with Huber and Schauf

Huber

Down by four with 58 seconds left on the game clock you trot your offense out. You line up in a trips left formation. You see that running back LaDainian Tomlinson will be in man coverage to your right against a linebacker, but you also have Randy Moss lined up in man coverage against a cornerback. Are you pitching it out to Tomlinson and letting him try to beat the linebacker or throwing a deep ball to Moss?

It's tempting to throw a jump ball down the field to Moss in this spot, but after seeing him out-hustled by linebacker Desmond Bishop last week I'd prefer to take the much safer avenue and let Tomlinson do his thing on..... well, Desmond Bishop.

You get nowhere on first down, and are left with second and 10. Coach sends Moss to the locker room after his mooning of Deion Branch. Stevie Johnson takes his place. Unfortunately the other receivers you have on the field are David Gettis and Jordan Shipley. You have to pass. Who are you designing a play around?

These options look like Nancy Pelosi's witch costume. Oh wait, is that a costume? At this point my best option may be to design a play to cause a colossal collision with coach on the sidelines to make up for the Moss loss. Then again I'll probably get my charity license revoked by commissioner Goodell. Stevie better have his gloves strapped tight, because I'm gunning it to him on a short drag.

Your designed play is a major bust. Now you're in a two tight end set on third down, and Deon Butler comes in for Johnson. Are you throwing a post corner to the short statured Butler, threading the needle on a 15-yard out to tight end Heath Miller, or throwing a short inside route to Shipley or Gettis.

Butler is like the five-year old who can never reach the cookie jar. Shipley and Gettis look good in numbers beginning with one, but their play this week will remind fantasy owners of the number zero. That leaves Miller, who is the coach's pet, but is the best option here. Heath just better not have "Butterfingers."

On third down Miller was doubled up, so you threw to Gettis, but he dropped it. On fourth down Coach calls for a hook and ladder play using Gettis and Johnson to catch the opponent off guard. Are you running it, or audibling to double outside fly routes?

Now I'm starting to feel like Jimmy Clausen and Matt Moore. I think I'll join Randy and hit the showers early. Now if I had Reggie Wayne, Andre Johnson, and Aaron Hernandez in my arsenal of weapons I could audible to two stop and gos on the outside, and skinny post in with Hernandez. Then again, if I had those weapons to begin with I wouldn't feel like I was on the NFL field of horrors.

Schauf

It's the first drive of the game, and you have the ball on the nine yard line; first and goal. Are you calling a counter run through the five gap with Marshawn Lynch, or screening it out right to Felix Jones?

I may root for Andy Reid's team, but that don't mean I'm running my offense the same way. I'll keep it on the ground, thanks, especially with a running back (Lynch) who is better than his situations have allowed.

On second and goal from the seven yard line you decide to go with a four wide shotgun look. The defense is in man coverage and tight to the line. You have three options; run a draw up the one gap with Ryan Torain, throw an inside slant to right inside receiver Lance Moore, or throw a corner fade to Brandon Lloyd. What option are you choosing?

I'm choosing to call a timeout so that I can slap my offensive coordinator and steal his headset. Then I'm either handing it to Lynch again or quick-snapping and sneaking it up the middle, depending on how reliable my offensive line is.

The second down play goes haywire thanks to a wild snap. You're left with a third and goal from the 18 yard line. You definitely want to score a touchdown to set the tone. Are you throwing a 16-yard square in dig to wide receiver Kenny Britt, or a 12-yard curl to tight end Jason Witten?

I'm scrapping any specific route assignment for Britt and instructing him to run into the end zone and jump. The ball will be waiting for him.

You come up inches short of the goal-line. Are you kicking the field goal with Ryan Succop, or going for it by either running up the three gap with Danny Woodhead or going play action to Deion Branch in the back of the end-zone?

I'm sneaking it from inches out. No reason to risk getting other folks and exchanges involved. And if I were a big enough wuss to kick a field goal here, I probably shouldn't be involved with the NFL in the first place.