After the fire and brimstone of "The Spoils of War" last week, it would make sense that "Game of Thrones" would take a bit of a breather Sunday night. But with only two episodes left after tonight in season seven, even the breather episodes – like "Eastwatch" – feel like sprints, hauling through reunions and reveals in Usain Bolt-like time and sneaking major revelations into pretty minor scenes. Exhilarating? Routinely. Exasperating? Occasionally. Ed Sheeran? Just that once.
Fittingly, "Eastwatch" opens up with people catching their breath: Bronn and Jaime, who of course didn't die last week sinking to the bottom of that lake. "Only I get to kill you," Bronn sternly chides the Kingslayer, who's really still too horrified by the aftermath of Drogon's assault to sass back. Dany's basically unleashed the nuclear warhead of Westeros – with two more still in her pocket – and Jaime realizes they've got nothing remotely close to that power (sorry, Qyburn's giant crossbow).
Meanwhile, Tyrion surveys the opposite of what he wanted to see: Daenerys triumphing over a field of ash. Dany brings together the survivors and delivers a speech about how she wants to break the wheel of oppression and how she's not the merciless city-destroying, house-burning tyrant that Cersei warns ... but considering she's just mercilessly vaporized hundreds of soldiers, the speech doesn't quite land. Drogon's speech, on the other hand, is much more effective (the tl;dr version: ROOOOAR!), terrorizing most of the soldiers to their knees – save for Randyll and Dickon Tarly, who still stand against Dany. Tyrion tries his best to bargain for them – maybe send them to The Wall, he offers – but they and Dany have none of it, and eventually they're ash-ified as punishment.
Tyrion's clearly wondering if he's still on the good side in this impending war – and, at this point, the audience probably is too. There's definitely a bit of Mad King inside Dany, something the show's just nudging at right now but surely looms on the horizon.
Meanwhile, RIP Randyll and Dickon; may we remember you with dignity.
Jaime: Rickon..
Dickon: It's Dickon
Bronn: pic.twitter.com/B7amw88TL4 — Kit Harington Online (@kitharingtoncom) August 7, 2017
Or not.
Jaime's bad day continues as he has to report their immeasurable losses to Cersei. He tries to explain to Cersei what he saw and what he realized they're up against, but she's still certain that they've got enough money for mercenaries if need be. He also has to break the news that it was Olenna Tyrell, not Tyrion, that poisoned Joffrey, which obviously doesn't sit well now that Olenna just finished a nice, painless poisoning herself. In fact, Cersei refuses to believe it, but after Jaime lays out of the logic from House Tyrell's perspective, she can't help but see the sense.
I know Jaime had a rough episode, but Cersei's the real loser right now. Compared to the White Walkers in the north and Dany's three dragons, she seems weak as hell, barely a threat to anyone – save for maybe Jaime, who she still has wrapped around her finger, especially after she drops the news (or the lie) that she's pregnant with his child. She still dominates him, but as for everyone else? Unless she comes up with something soon – hey Qyburn, hear me out, but maybe TWO giant crossbows? – she's oddly falling off the map as the show's big bad.
Speaking of big bads, Bran raven-visions off past The Wall to see how the Night King and the rest of his army are coming along – and yep, they're en route. While the ravens eye up the troops, the Night King quick glances over, and the ravens are all like, "F*CK THIS!" and scatter. Bran is very concerned – look, an emotion! – and messages to Old Town.
There, Broadbent and the rest of the Maesters read the note with skepticism – it is, after all, the tale of a crippled boy who survived snow zombies past The Wall thanks to his crazy visions – but Sam chimes in noting that, yes, it's all true, and that if they spoke up, the whole of Westeros could work to find defeat them. Broadbent and the rest of the table, however, are mostly unmoved, and Sam storms out – and that's before even knowing that, thanks to Dany and Drogon, the Tarly name is more like Char-ly now. (Too soon?)
While we're on the topic of Dany and Drogon, the two arrive back at Dragonstone in front of Jon – rather rudely actually, with Drogon belching a roar right at Jon like he did something wrong. What a diva. But then Drogon calmly inches closer to Jon ... and Jon reaches out a fearful hand, eventually petting the dragon into calmness and even cute eyes. Uh oh, Dany; that "I am the last Targaryen" talk is losing some steam.
What's more troubling, though, is how quickly that scene – a HUGE scene that should be a big deal – comes up and then passes. There's been some criticism this season about pacing issues, and while I guess I'm fine with the incredible teleporting powers characters apparently have, I'm a less lenient about how moments like this feel more like mere necessary plot stepping stones rather than emotionally developed moments.
Speaking of pacing, Jorah – whose deathly greyscale was suddenly cured like a common cold – is back, reunited with Dany ... just to almost immediately bail again. He's to help snag a White Walker from beyond The Wall to convince Cersei on an armistice to join against the Night King. It's a reunion the show just barrels through, zipping across a character's plot point in record time and somewhat turning him into a human yo-yo. A fine moment, surely – just like Jon's brief "How to Train Your Dragon" homage before – but one that could've and should've arguably hit harder. But hey, it's good to have Jorah back; like Tyrion says, "Nobody glowers like you."
Not all of Tyrion's reunions Sunday night, however, were that much fun. In order to convince Cersei of the White Walkers' existence, they have to get one into King's Landing to show her the threat's real – and to do that, they need an audience via Jaime. So with the help of Davos, Tyrion smuggles himself into the city and arranges a surprise meeting, thanks to Bronn, with his very distant brother. Luckily, despite their chilly attitudes, Tyrion's message of temporary peace sticks – as if Cersei needs an excuse to put off fighting Dany's dragons and Dothraki hordes.
While those two get reacquainted, Davos heads through a herd of blacksmiths to reacquaint himself with GENDRY! My god, it's been literally years. After getting him out of harm's way by putting him right under the queen's nose, Davos has returned to bring Gendry back into the fold – plus, as he notes, safety is never a permanent state of affairs. The Baratheon bastard is more than eager to pack his hammer and help, so the two – and Tyrion – head back to Dragonstone. Well, first they've got to deal a fun and tensely crafted scene with two pesky King's Landing guards snooping around their boat. After neither Davos' bribes nor fermented crab Viagra trick – hard to explain; don't ask – work, Gendry takes a literal swing at dealing with the dimwits. That's right: IT'S HAMMER TIME!
Finally back at Dragonstone, Davos warns Gendry to follow his lead with Jon, to hide his true identity and to avoid joining Jon's bonkers trip past The Wall to trap himself a White Walker. And so, Gendry promptly proceeds to talk right through Davos, introduce himself as Robert Baratheon's bastard son and eagerly volunteer's his hammer for Jon's trip up north. Davos is all, "DON'T MIND MY ADVICE; I'M JUST A SMART OLD GUY WHO'S MANAGED TO STAY ALIVE IN LITERALLY THE WORST KINGDOM EVER." God bless Davos.
Back at Old Town, Sam is super done with chronicling the Maesters' sh*ts and steps. How done? For one, he snaps at poor Gilly. Second, he grabs a bunch of scrolls and ancient texts, and bails town (was that not an option after the poop-and-soup montage from the season premiere?). But lastly – and most importantly – he's so harrumph-y about everything that he misses Gilly modestly reading off one of the biggest revelations on the show this season: Rhaegar Targaryen got an annulment in order to likely marry Lyanna Stark, giving Jon legitimacy to the throne. Dany's not going to like that news.
Gilly (a woman): Here is some extremely pertinent infor—
Samwell (a man): ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN HOW AWFUL MY CIRCUMSTANCES ARE — Andrew Gruttadaro (@andrewgrutt) August 14, 2017
Anyways, Sam and the family leave Old Town, making that subplot basically a weird detour more than anything (the pacing, again). At least we'll always have that montage.
Which takes us to Winterfell, tensions are heating up pretty much amongst everyone. The local bannermen complain to Sansa about the King of the North not being in the north, and while Arya may be new in town, she's not quiet to Sansa about how that should be handled. She nominates cutting some heads, while Sansa takes the diplomatic response of ... not doing that. In fact, Sansa seems really weirded out by her newly acquainted sister, who's doing a great impression of playing the devil on her shoulder.
Meanwhile, Littlefinger finally has a plot! That's right; everyone's favorite obvious schemer has finally found some actual scheming to do, sneaking away for darkly lit conversations with informants, snagging a secret scroll and hiding his loot in his apartment – all while Arya snoops in on him. Because she has a brain, she's suspicious as hell and breaks into his nook to find this odd scroll he's snatched up, a note from Sansa which vaguely reads about fealty to Joffrey – a season one missive, perhaps? Arya grabs it and stealthily makes her way out of Littlefinger's pad undetected – OR NOT, as it's now Littlefinger's turn to snoop from the shadows. What game is he at, getting the two sisters to spar?
#GameOfThrones When you thought someone finally had the upper hand on Little Finger but then... pic.twitter.com/8ArUrULUfD — Umair Siddiqui (@OfficialUmairS) August 14, 2017
I guess I'm just happy Littlefinger's story found something to do in Winterfell – even if it does end with him getting shivved by Arya sooner rather than later.
Lastly, we hit Eastwatch, where Tormund's not thrilled about Jon's plans to head out into enemy territory – to find the enemy, nonetheless. He's even less thrilled about his reasoning, trying to get either "the one who f*cks her brother or the one who has dragons" on their side – or, hopefully both. Even worse? "The big lady" – aka Brienne – isn't joining. The good news, though, is he's got some other helpers for their quest locked up in jail – including The Hound and his few straggling Brotherhood Without Banners folks, which Gendry is NOT A FAN. However, Jon reminds them that they're all on the same side because "we're all breathing." And so the hunt for a White Walker is on.
The Real Suicide Squad ❤️ #GameofThrones pic.twitter.com/Ko1kXxJfVf — VANN. (@michaelvannalbo) August 14, 2017
So yeah ... as far as breathers go, this was barely one. But after seeing the intense preview for next week's pentultimate episode of the season, I think we'll be glad we had at least something to help catch our breath.
As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.
When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.