By Matt Mueller Culture Editor Published Dec 04, 2014 at 4:46 PM

Three desperate everyday guys pushed so far to the edge that committing a crime is the only option? OK, that works, or at least that’s relatable on a darkly comic level. Three desperate everyday guys pushed so far to the edge that committing a crime is the only option … again? Well, now we’re moving into sociopathic territory. These three might want to consider if it would be more productive to ask themselves, "Maybe we’re the problem?"

Judging by their alarmingly enthusiastic decision to dive back unto the murder/kidnapping business (merely writing various potential crimes on a white board makes these guys new "Star Wars" trailer giddy), these dudes might just enjoy being criminals. A character in the movie even has the same realization. It’s only meant as just the set-up for a lame slo-mo walking joke, but he’s onto something. A very cogent, clever observation coming from the distinguished M**********r Jones – one this sequel leaves neglected in its cubicle while crass, pandering idiocy gets a bonus.

The first "Horrible Bosses" from back in 2011 was like the heavily lifeguarded kiddie pool of dark comedy. More importantly, however, it was also pretty funny, fueled by entertaining performances, some rewarding stunt casting and a zeitgeist-tapping schadenfreude-tastic plot. The second go-around, complete with a new director (Sean Anders of "That’s My Boy"), replaces most of that with a brutal case of comedy sequel-itis, going bigger, louder and dumber.

Freed from the shackles of their menacing superiors (Kevin Spacey and Jennifer Aniston return, while Colin Farrell does not due to reasons of his character getting shot in the last movie), Nick, Kurt and Dale (Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day, respectively) decide they’d apparently like to assume the role of horrible bosses this time through. They hire unqualified employees, need to have sexual harassment explained to them, make fools of themselves on live TV and apparently don’t understand smart business contracts – much less possibly how to write one up.

That's how things go south yet again for the three derring-doofi. Slick investor Burt Hanson (Christoph Waltz) swindles the guys into bankruptcy and out of their new product – the Shower Buddy, a shampoo-nozzle-thing. They go to a business lawyer to … no, nevermind, they go to their now imprisoned former boss (Spacey) for advice, and when he turns out to be understandably less than enthusiastic to help, they decide on the next logical option: kidnapping the investor’s cocky son Rex (Chris Pine) for ransom.

An ill-conceived break-in and a broken tank of nitrous oxide later, Rex is all tied up and gagged in their trunk – by his own means. As it turns out, Rex hates his dad and wants to team up on the scam for some extra dough. They’re reluctant at first, but since the three have apparently spent the time between movies drinking cans of lead paint, they go with it, even going as far as having a reverse Stockholm syndrome for Rex. Misadventures, car chases and Aniston’s sex addict dentist asking about the graphic details of a 14-year-old’s penis ensue.

Even though the screenplay for "Horrible Bosses 2"  – complements of Anders and John Morris – works very hard to make Burt and Rex into obvious scumbags (they’re racist, greedy, self-centered, unethical sharks that pride a bag of money over family and make their maid clean water droplets from a sink), it’s oddly the movie’s protagonists that stick in the craw more than any of the villains.

In the last film, there didn’t seem to be any reason for these three disparate, routinely annoyed fellows to be friends other than the plot’s mechanics, but at least they made for amusing company. This time around, no one seems to like one another; they’re always arguing and irritating one another. Their friendship seems impossible – unless they must stick together to share their one communal brain cell.

Nick falls in love with the woman who previously raped his best friend and had a place on their hit list. A climactic scene in a parking garage features a symphony of idiocy from Kurt and Dale, doing everything possible to screw themselves over. Every few minutes, they each find new contrived ways to blunderingly grate on each other – and, even more so, the audience.

As with most Hollywood sequels, it’s the lazy assumption that you just need to add more. The guys were fumblingly incompetent in the last movie, so they’re made more incompetent here. Aniston was a sex fiend last time, so she’s even more so now (to an awkward and frankly embarrassing level). The guys bickered over one another before, so man, do we have more that this time around. The dialogue plays like most of the jokes were typed on top of one another on the page.

It’s just not fun being with these dim dopes; it’s exhausting, and scenes just seem to dawdle on, beating on the same witlessly crude jokes, dragging them out or filling time with more empty frazzled patter.

The Sequel Property of Adding More applies to the first movie’s casual racism and sexism too, minus the casual. Foxx’s character is still the go-to guy on crime advice, while the only other black male of note is another criminal applying for a job in a wife beater. When told to own their criminal tendencies, the misguided joke on cue is walking to rap music. Meanwhile, women are only there for the guys as oogling material or nagging obligation. Worse is the third option: Aniston’s embarrassingly written sexual predator.

The tastelessly crude, cheap sense of humor and increasingly abrasive characters makes "Horrible Bosses 2" a tediously drawn out, unpleasant and mostly laugh-deprived two hours, made no shorter by its all too apparent needlessness.

Not that I’m unhappy to see these actors on screen (mostly; in his end credits blooper, Waltz looks like he’s got better things to do). Few do beleaguered more amusingly than Bateman. Pine and Spacey have some fun, and Day is the movie’s MVP (if that meant anything), his drunkenly frantic chirping milking a majority of the film’s few chuckles.

Based on the evidence on screen, however, there didn’t seem to be any great new ideas – in terms of humor or story – to build into a series, and it’s not as though "Horrible Bosses" was the strongest, most memorable foundation. "Bend you over and show you the 50 states" was a funny line from the first film, but the sequel calls back to it like it was an enduring signature catchphrase. The sequel fondly remembers itself better than the audience.

Surrounded by the sequel’s limply vulgar jokes, frustrating characters and story seeking to undo its predecessor, the reintroductions and callbacks don’t trigger fond memories of the first movie as much as they trigger uncomfortable questions of why you enjoyed it in the first place.

Matt Mueller Culture Editor

As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.

When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.