One of my coworkers was recently telling me about a conversation he had with friends about "truck balls." Google them if you don't know what I'm taking about, but his friends discussed how much money it would take to install this ridiculous accessory on their cars for the rest of their lives.
Think about it before you answer $500 or some other low-ball figure: at your daughter's wedding or at job interviews, you're driving a car with truck balls. You have to go to your great aunt's funeral driving a car with truck balls. You get my point.
Anyway, it got me thinking about what someone would have to pay me to do some of the more undesirable things around Milwaukee. I made a list, from least expensive to most expensive. Discuss amongst yourselves, and please don't make me an offer.
Someone would have to pay me:
- $5: to drink a Bud Light in private
- $20: to drink a Bud Light in public
- $100: to take a lewd photo with the Bronze Fonz
- $500: to do another Polar Plunge
- $1,500: to try the bungee jump ride at State Fair
- $5,000: to climb on the dinosaur, free the butterflies, do the pow-wow dance, etc., at the Public Museum
- $10,000: to jump into the Milwaukee River and swim around
- $20,000: to try to steal a rare plant from my beloved Domes
- $50,000: to run onto the field during a Brewers game
- $75,000: to eat "Lake Michigan sushi"
- $100,000: to climb the Brise Soleil at the Art Museum
- $200,000: to try to steal the Edelweiss boat
- $250,000: to risk my life and sneak onto "Monkey Island" at the zoo
- $500,000: to streak across the Marcus Amphitheater show during Summerfest
- No amount of money: to puts on Cubs gear and root for Chicago during a Brewers game at Miller Park
Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.
Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.
Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.
