By OnMilwaukee Staff Writers   Published Jan 11, 2002 at 5:39 AM

"In The Bedroom" is a difficult film to review. There's a plot development about halfway through that shouldn't be given away, even though the ads for the film practically do. This review will tread carefully as to not reveal too much.

The setting is summer in Camden, Maine. The Fowler family is comprised of Matt (Tom Wilkinson), a doctor, his wife Ruth (Sissy Spacek), a choral music teacher, and their son Frank (Nick Stahl).

Frank, who wants to become an architect, is home for the summer working part time as a lobsterman to earn money for graduate school, in which he plans on enrolling in the fall.

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To the chagrin of his mother, Frank has developed a close relationship with a local single mother, Natalie (Marisa Tomei). She has two young sons and is separated from their father, Richard (William Mapother). They are on the verge of getting divorced and it's clear that he is a less than perfect father.

Ruth insists that Frank end the relationship, and he tells her that it isn't serious, but he and Natalie are in love. He is also crazy about her kids. Though his parents don't know it, Frank is thinking about putting off school and settling down with her.

Matt and Ruth are in disagreement about Frank and Natalie. While she is adamant that Frank call it off, Matt believes in letting him do as he pleases. He is fond of Natalie and sees how happy his son is. As far as he's concerned, there's no reason for their relationship to end.

Thus far, "In The Bedroom" is a carefully drawn character piece with light doses of humor sprinkled throughout. It's about everyday people in a nice, small town. The Fowler's are an extremely realistic family. When Ruth nags Frank, it feels all too real.

And then, tragedy strikes. Suddenly, it's an entirely different movie, though the transition is smooth and believable.

"In The Bedroom" is an emotionally wrenching and heartbreaking story of loss and how people grieve and deal with suffering. Since the characters are so thoughtfully developed, and because you care about them so much, it's as affecting as any movie released since "You Can Count On Me."

The three leads give the film its depth and power with remarkably good performances. Wilkinson and Spacek are extraordinary and deserve the heaps of praise they have been receiving, but Stahl is equally impressive. His Frank is smart, caring, gentle and devoted. He's an admirable and immensely likeable young man.

Co-written and directed by actor Todd Field ("Eyes Wide Shut") from a story by Andre Dubus, "In The Bedroom" is an assured, poignant and provocative movie you won't soon forget. Favoring the subtle and quiet for the loud and obvious, it's simply wonderful.

"In The Bedroom" stars Fri., Jan. 11 at Landmark's Oriental Theatre. Click here for showtimes.