About a decade ago, it seemed like everyone I knew was getting married. One summer, I attended eight weddings. Then, a few years later, it was baby showers. I went to dozens every calendar year. And now, the divorce phase seems to be crashing on shore, with lots of couples I know going under after seven, 10, even 13 years of marriage.
Is there a ripple effect when it comes to life’s phases? Are these milestones contagious?
Starting with the weddings, it seems that once a couple or two get engaged, the idea sparks in lots of peoples' heads. Some couples are a great match and truly in love, but for others, the love is more of a fondness, dependence, lust or response to a pressure that "everybody’s doing it" so it must be time to settle down.
Later, these are the couples that will do one of three things: stay together unhappily, stay together and busy themselves in kids and / or activities, or move on in seek of more.
The latter is difficult to do. It’s much easier for some friends and family members to understand -- and not judge -- divorce when someone’s, say, being abused. However, it’s more difficult for some people to wrap their minds around a separation that resulted from boredom, lack of passion, lost communication or the realization that one wasn’t really in love with their spouse / the idea of getting married but did it anyway.
And like marriage, when one couple finally admits they're done, they usually pave the way for at least one or two more couples to step forward and do the same.
It's arguable that 'these days," some people are more in touch with their emotions -- through mainstream acceptance of therapy and New Age-ish books and films that get people thinking -- and therefore they are not as willing to fake it or live inside marriage myths that perpetuate the lie that there is always a honeymoon phase that fizzles out or that married people don’t have as much sex.
There are more people out there sharing their honest thoughts and saying that they want more from their relationships and their lives. They are not going to settle and fall into a nightlife of wine drinking and television just to avoid the real issue of being unsatisfied with a spouse.
This message might be contagious, but for some, it’s the voice of a horrible truth that was buried for a long time. When they finally heard the words, they know it’s the story of their life, too. And they realize it’s now or never to find a truly fulfilling relationship and to prevent the death of passion.
Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.
Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.
