By Lori Fredrich Senior Food Writer, Dining Editor, Podcast Host Published Nov 15, 2022 at 1:02 PM

Thanksgiving might be far and away the least sexy holiday of the bunch. But that doesn't mean you can't have a little pre-Turkey-Day fun.

Just head over to Lost Whale, 2151 S. Kinnickinnic Ave. for "Bangsgiving at the Griffin" on Wednesday, Nov. 23 from 5 p.m. until close.

Inspired by the 2014 “New Girl” Bangsgiving episode – as well as Zooey Deschanel’s illustrious bangs – this double entendre of an evening will offer bar-goers the opportunity to show off their fantastic fringes, philosophize over decisions like "to bang or not to bang,"  distract themselves from the dread of the impending holiday or simply enjoy a bang-up collection of hilariously-named cocktails.

In classic Lost Whale Fashion, the evening is also about giving back to the community. So, guests are encouraged to bring canned goods to donate to Hunger Task Force. In fact, the first 30 people to donate an item for the Lost Whale food drive will get a free head band, which can be used to either complement or camouflage your cut.

Six Bang-up cocktails 

Lost Whale will be serving up six special drinks, all of which are well-equipped to give you the guts you need to try out bangs again, soften the repercussions of your latest bang trim or simply equip you with the fortitude to tackle the good, bad and ugly of Thanksgiving (and maybe even Black Friday).  

First up, there’s the classic You give me cookie I give you cookie!, a cocktail made for those who always seem to hurt the ones they love the most.

This drink features custard cookie-infused Modest Vodka, Twisted Path 80 Proof Chai Liqueur, pear, lemon and a topper of Odyssea White Sangria (orange, fig, and vanilla infused and sharply carbonated in white wine). And yes, it’s garnished with a mermaid named Rochelle.  After all, every cocktail deserves a garnish with a fancy name. You know: “'Rochelle', like a mermaid.”

You give me cookie I give you cookie!
You give me cookie I give you cookie!

Speaking of fancy names… In homage to Winston Saint-Marie Schmidt, there’s also the Three More, Cocktail Johnny, a drink featuring Midori Melon (of course), Roku Japanese Gin, fresh lemon juice, cane syrup and aquafaba.  It’s served with a shot of Midori on the side (It’s only 4 proof, OK?).

For those who love a great drinking game, there’s also the True American, a take on a classic 1849 American whiskey punch featuring bourbon, orange and grapefruit oleo saccharum, fresh lemon juice, demerara syrup and Bittercube All Day Aromatic and Cherry Bark Vanilla bitters. It’s garnished with a chaser of your choice: a tap beer or an Odyssea Sangria

Just remember: the floor is lava and Jack Daniels is the king of the castle. Also, everyone who drinks this cocktail must immediately exclaim: "1, 2, 3, 4! JFK! FDR!"

If something tropical is what you’re after, you’ll find it in Nick’s Fruity Drink featuring El Jimado house tequila blend, Dos Hombres mezcal, fresh lime juice, housemade passionfruit syrup, pineapple and Bittercube Chipotle Cacao and Jamaican #1 bitters.

Just remember, this is one of those fruity drinks that Schmidt says “used to make the girls lose their minds in college”... and, as Winnie the Bish knows, they can really sneak up on you if you’re not careful.

We’re not sure the same is true of Pink Wine Makes Me Slutty, a lovely combination of Amerique 1912 Absinthe Rouge, cane syrup, Campo Viejo Sparkling Rosé and Bittercube Orange bitters. But it’s always a good idea to sip slowly, just in case.

Pink Wine Makes Me Slutty
Pink Wine Makes Me Slutty

In fact, maybe you should just opt for the oh-so-famous Temple Grandin, featuring Bacardi Cuatro Rum, Bacardi Coconut Rum, housemade Door County cherry grenadine, fresh lemon juice and Brew City lemon lime soda.  

After all, if Jess’s cocktail-o-meter is correct, this concoction might just have the potential to make you friendly and compassionate, just like Temple Grandin. And heck, those are both qualities we could all put to good use throughout the holiday season.

As always, tip well and drink responsibly!

Lori Fredrich Senior Food Writer, Dining Editor, Podcast Host

Lori is an avid cook whose accrual of condiments and spices is rivaled only by her cookbook collection. Her passion for the culinary industry was birthed while balancing A&W root beer mugs as a teenage carhop, fed by insatiable curiosity and fueled by the people whose stories entwine with each and every dish. She’s had the privilege of chronicling these tales via numerous media, including OnMilwaukee and in her book “Milwaukee Food.” Her work has garnered journalism awards from entities including the Milwaukee Press Club. 

When she’s not eating, photographing food, writing or recording the FoodCrush podcast, you’ll find Lori seeking out adventures with her husband Paul, traveling, cooking, reading, learning, snuggling with her cats and looking for ways to make a difference.