By Matt Mueller Culture Editor Published Mar 09, 2021 at 1:31 PM

So here's an unusual sports update: I'm pretty sure the racing sausages kidnapped Bernie Brewer?

The Brewers today debuted the first chapter in a new video series called "Mascot Makeover" – brought to you by, who else, American Family Insurance – during which Bernie Brewer is just happily meandering around the empty stadium and preparing to snack on a pile of pizza and chips when the racing sausages and Barrel Man snatch up the team's most famous fan and literally throw him into the back of a van.

It even comes complete with an evil laugh from Barrel Man!

Barrel Man being villainous.X

So that seems ominous.

What's the deal? Does Bernie owe the sausages money? Are they plotting a coup, tired of playing second base to Bernie Brewer's title as the team's mascot and wanting to take over his famous slide-decorated dugout? Has the racing meat simply gone mean?

There's three more chapters to go in this epic saga, but I think I've already got a guess at what we're building to here – quite literally. It's possible we'll get a remodeled Bernie Brewer; it is called "Mascot Makeover" and this opening clip does spend a lot of time detailing Bernie's suboptimal dietary habits. What's more likely, however, is that American Family Field will have a new Bernie's Dugout – or more like a return since "Bernie's Chalet" is coming back (at least in name only) according to some photos taken from inside the newly named, soon-to-be-25%-filled stadium, revealing an AmFam-branded version of the old chalet, still unfortunately minus the mug. 

An AmFam-sponsored video series highlighting a newly AmFam-sponsored ballpark feature? Makes too much sense – especially when you add in the "building" pun at the end of the first chapter. Plus, if you're the company behind a divisive name change, I imagine a way to court goodwill with fans is bringing back a retro, if modernized, classic element. The only question is if a spiffy new Bernie Brewer will go with it. (I doubt it; how much thinner or buff do you want a mascot? You don't want to start wandering into creepy Purdue Pete territory.) 

Stay tuned to the Brewers' Twitter feed or the team's website for the additional installments – and most importantly, stay tuned for the start of baseball back on the field and in front of fans on April 1

Matt Mueller Culture Editor

As much as it is a gigantic cliché to say that one has always had a passion for film, Matt Mueller has always had a passion for film. Whether it was bringing in the latest movie reviews for his first grade show-and-tell or writing film reviews for the St. Norbert College Times as a high school student, Matt is way too obsessed with movies for his own good.

When he's not writing about the latest blockbuster or talking much too glowingly about "Piranha 3D," Matt can probably be found watching literally any sport (minus cricket) or working at - get this - a local movie theater. Or watching a movie. Yeah, he's probably watching a movie.