If you’re anything like me – and in terms of viscerally angry responses to triflingly inconsequential problems, let’s hope you’re not – you get upset when people mispronounce stuff.
And if you listen to AM talk radio, overhear sports-bar conversations and are not frequently around Poles or Greeks, you probably catch a lot of massacred names across the Milwaukee sports scene. Wojo and Giannis (we’ll deal with them shortly) have just a couple of the most-mangled monikers; there are plenty more.
The Green Bay Packers' hiring of Brian Gutekunst as their new general manager on Monday gives us an opportunity to learn how to correctly pronounce the names of the local sports figures we love so much. Say them with me!
Sacar Anim
Who is he? Marquette forward
Why does he matter? The redshirt sophomore is a two-time Big East All-Academic Team member and a defensive stopper for the Golden Eagles.
How do you say his name? Suh-CAR ANN-um
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Who is he? Bucks forward
Why does he matter? The Greek Freak is an NBA superstar, one of the most popular (and lovable!) players in the game and a nice guy who’d probably take the time to learn your name.
How do you say his name? YAHN-iss ah-deh-toh-KOON-boh (or just let him say it)
Mark Attanasio
Who is he? Brewers owner
Why does he matter? Attanasio cuts the checks and holds the biggest influence over whether the Brewers contend, so please stop diminishing him by pronouncing his last name ANT-anasio. (He’s not an ant, he’s a very rich man!)
How do you say his name? Mark AT-tuh-na-zee-oh
Beau Benzschawel
Who is he? Badgers offensive guard
Why does he matter? A three-year starter, the junior is one of the best offensive linemen in the Big Ten but recently announced he will return for his senior season.
How do you say his name? Bow BEN-shawl
Jhoulys Chacin
Who is he? Brewers starting pitcher
Why does he matter? Signed in December to a two-year contract to bolster Milwaukee's rotation, Chacin is coming off one of his best major-league seasons in 2017, when he went 13-10 with a 3.89 ERA and 153 strikeouts.
How do you say his name? Joo-LEEZ cha-SEEN
Rafael Gaglianone
Who is he? Badgers kicker
Why does he matter? He was a fat Brazilian kicker who did hilarious on-field dances and kicked game-winning field goals; he will be remembered fondly forever.
How do you say his name? HA-fy-el GAH-glee-ah-no-nee
Brian Gutekunst
Who is he? Packers general manager
Why does he matter? Promoted to replace Ted Thompson as Green Bay's top personnel decision-maker, Gutekunst will be in charge of rebuilding the Packers' roster after their disappointing 2017 season.
How do you say his name? Brian GOO-di-kunst
Aaron Moesch
Who is he? Badgers forward
Why does he matter? The redshirt senior doesn't get on the floor much, but he and teammate Matt Ferris make for one of the funniest, most entertaining duos come NCAA Tournament time.
How do you say his name? Aaron MAY-shhh
Mirza Teletovic
Who is he? Bucks forward
Why does he matter? One of the best 3-point shooters and few veterans on the team, Teletovic is sidelined indefinitely with a pulmonary emboli in both lungs.
How do you say his name? MEER-za Tel-LET-O-Vich
Steve Wojciechowski
Who is he? Marquette head coach
Why does he matter? Now in his fourth year, Wojo has brought highly acclaimed recruiting classes to campus and he led the Golden Eagles back to the NCAA Tournament last season.
How do you say his name? Steve woe-ju-HOW-skee
There, you sound smarter already. Now please go call in to 105-7FM The Fan.
Got any others? Let us know in the comments.
Born in Milwaukee but a product of Shorewood High School (go ‘Hounds!) and Northwestern University (go ‘Cats!), Jimmy never knew the schoolboy bliss of cheering for a winning football, basketball or baseball team. So he ditched being a fan in order to cover sports professionally - occasionally objectively, always passionately. He's lived in Chicago, New York and Dallas, but now resides again in his beloved Brew City and is an ardent attacker of the notorious Milwaukee Inferiority Complex.
After interning at print publications like Birds and Blooms (official motto: "America's #1 backyard birding and gardening magazine!"), Sports Illustrated (unofficial motto: "Subscribe and save up to 90% off the cover price!") and The Dallas Morning News (a newspaper!), Jimmy worked for web outlets like CBSSports.com, where he was a Packers beat reporter, and FOX Sports Wisconsin, where he managed digital content. He's a proponent and frequent user of em dashes, parenthetical asides, descriptive appositives and, really, anything that makes his sentences longer and more needlessly complex.
Jimmy appreciates references to late '90s Brewers and Bucks players and is the curator of the unofficial John Jaha Hall of Fame. He also enjoys running, biking and soccer, but isn't too annoying about them. He writes about sports - both mainstream and unconventional - and non-sports, including history, music, food, art and even golf (just kidding!), and welcomes reader suggestions for off-the-beaten-path story ideas.
