By Andy Tarnoff Publisher Published Apr 27, 2009 at 9:44 AM

I've got a few things I'd like to get off my chest this morning, but none is particularly blog-worthy on its own. Instead, here are the three thoughts swirling around in my head as I drink my first cup of coffee of the week.

I don't dig on the swine: I'm freaking out a little about this swine flu. Maybe I've seen too many disaster movies, but the way that cable news is portraying this outbreak reminds me of the flashback scenes in movies like "I Am Legend." We've heard for so long that the world was ripe for a flu pandemic, and I'm wondering if this is it. Just like many people felt after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, when I said to no one in particular, "Well, in retrospect, we shoulda seen that coming," I fear we're going to look back at this event and say the same thing. Yes, I panic about lots of stuff, so I'll keep my pants on about swine flu. But when DHS closes our borders, then I'm heading for the hills. Of course, at that point, it'll probably be too late.

Many, many Monte Carlos: Do you ever see something once, then see it a million times in the ensuing weeks? I saw a tricked out Chevy Monte Carlo a few weeks ago, and I remarked to my wife what an unusual car that was. It was like a street legal NASCAR coupe: ugly, but unlike any other late-model car on the road. Then, I started seeing Monte Carlos everywhere. In the lanes next to me, parked on the streets, all over the place. I've literally seen 25 of these cars -- to which I had previously never give a second look -- in the last two weeks. I think seeing something over and over again is a "thing," isn't it, like déjà vu? I remember when I worked for a cell phone company in the late '90s, I would see cell phone towers all over the place. Or when my wife was pregnant, it seemed like everyone was, too. But Monte Carlos? So strange. So random. Why?

Get up, get up, get out of here: When AirTran asked me if I wanted to participate in a "celebrity" home run derby for charity this Thursday, I accepted without giving it a second thought. Even though I haven't played organized baseball since Little League, I fancy myself a decent hitter, visiting batting cages during the summer months whenever possible. However, I neglected to ask whether they were talking hardball or softball.

Unfortunately, they said softball, and that's a sport in which I have almost no experience. I'm afraid that the slowly lobbed, huge ball will throw off my timing and force me to over swing. I fear that I might hit exactly zero home runs at Helfaer Field. I hope to practice at a batting cage before Thursday's event, but time is growing short. I might make a big, big fool of myself in front of Ryan Braun and the kids from the YMCA. If you'd like to root me on (or heckle me), the event runs from noon to 2 p.m.

Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.

Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.

Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.