By Molly Snyder Senior Writer Published Apr 20, 2005 at 5:08 AM

{image1}In many families today, dads have different roles and responsibilities than their fathers did. We all know that modern pops often cook more meals, make less-or-equal money and change more diapers in a weekend than their old man did in a lifetime. However, many local dads say they still combine portions of their father's parenting style with their own.

"I'm not the breadwinner like my dad was, and I'll never use the belt the way he did," says Adam Johns, a musician and stay-at-home dad. "But I find myself stressing the same values with my kid that he did with us, like 'be empathetic' and 'work really hard.'"

For eight years, Jess Reaser was a single parent with joint custody of his son. Reaser, an economist, is more educated -- and more aware of child development issues -- than his own dad, but he says his fathering method is still similar.

"As I get older, my parenting style is increasingly like my father's. The similarities are getting eerie," he says. "For all my premeditated efforts, the goals and the results don't seem that different than those my father pursued intuitively."

At age 46 and with a daughter in her 20s, Jeff Treul became a padre once again. This time, Treul says he plans to strike a balance between the militaristic approach of his own father, and the over-tolerant style he practiced 20 years ago with his first child.

"Some decisions will be negotiable and others simply will not," he says, admitting he overcompensated for his father's strictness by allowing his first child to have input in most situations.

For some reason, it's easier to focus on our parents' mistakes and dysfunctions than it is to remember the good stuff -- and to apply it.

"My dad used physical punishment, but he also helped us with our homework almost every night," says Johns. "I wouldn't hit my kids, but I don't spend that kind of time with them every night, either. It's complicated."

For Quinn Wilder it's less complicated. It's clear to him what he's adopted from his father's style, and what he wants to do differently.

"I try to spend more one-on-one time with my girls, as opposed to only doing whole-family time like my father," says Wilder, a youth worker of education, research and advocacy. "But (in many ways) I am trying to parent my daughters as much like my father as I can."


Molly Snyder started writing and publishing her work at the age 10, when her community newspaper printed her poem, "The Unicorn.” Since then, she's expanded beyond the subject of mythical creatures and written in many different mediums but, nearest and dearest to her heart, thousands of articles for OnMilwaukee.

Molly is a regular contributor to FOX6 News and numerous radio stations as well as the co-host of "Dandelions: A Podcast For Women.” She's received five Milwaukee Press Club Awards, served as the Pfister Narrator and is the Wisconsin State Fair’s Celebrity Cream Puff Eating Champion of 2019.