Nirvana's concert survival guide

This past weekend I had the ultimate concert experience here in Milwaukee. I reached out to my music industry connections and went to see Lupe Fiasco and B.O.B. at The Rave on Friday. One of my best friends came into town to visit me, and also attend the show.

Both of us are new to the "30" club and we have had many conversations about what this means for us, and how things have changed, and ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. Attending this concert was the perfect opportunity to channel our pre-30 fabulous selves.

Now when someone comes to visit me, I like to give him or her the full experience. I take them to eat at the best restaurants, we go to the best events, shop at the best stores, etc... This concert now will be put into the "never-bring-a-guest-from-out-of-town" pile. I have been to my share of hip hop shows at The Rave, and I didn't remember them being this out of control. You can blame it on my age, or you can blame it on a fabulous concert venue with all the wrong elements.

When we arrived I called my industry connection to come and get us at the door. We enter, and the very first thing I noticed is just how smokey the venue is. One thing about Chicago that I miss and appreciate is that you can go out for a night on the town and come home smelling the same as when you left. To get the odor or cigarettes and cheap cigars out of my clothes and hair takes more than a few washes, and thus keeps me in the house more than in the clubs.

The next thing I noticed was that there were clearly very young kids there. The show was all-ages, so I witnessed actual children walking around and this was no place for kids. I am all for a good time, but with the cigarette smoke in the air and the amount of alcohol consumption by people who were obviously not of age really rubbed me and my age the wrong way.

Had it not been for our seats on the stage, I would have left before the show began. I encourage you to always pay for the best seats in the house or call in a favor from a good friend. This will help you avoid the teenage sandwich in the standing room area, accidental cigarette burns and the drunk who is going to expose his or her insides any second onto the floor and your $95 leather flats.

Now if this is your thing, by all means I encourage you to have all the fun the law allows, but do it with class. If this is not your thing, and you find yourself in a concert situation that has some of the similar elements, consider this your survival guide:

• Make sure you have a full telephone battery, and strong signal
• Make sure you have a meeting place if you are separated
• If you are a woman, make sure you locate the bathrooms that are NOT on the main floor, or be subjected to peed on toilet seats, and more...
• Make sure you wear the shoes that you don't care about, the ones that you clean the yard with; this will eliminate any verbal altercations with the drunken college girl who spills her beer.
• Know your exits, just in case an all out brawl breaks out. You want to make sure you are not in the middle of it without an escape.
• Befriend a bartender, and tip them well. If you are going to drink and need to use a bathroom without 50 people in line, he or she will guide you.
• If you have sinus or allergies, and the venue allows smoking -- stay home.
• Leave the cameras at home, you will lose it.
• Pay for VIP parking, after all the walking around, and at the end of the night you will be glad you did.