For many, weddings are a joyous and fun-filled occasion meant to celebrate love and commitment, but for others, it's just a reminder that you're still the girl without a ring on your finger.

I cannot tell you how many weddings, bridal showers or engagement parties I've been to and had the misfortune of overhearing some foolish person say, 'You're next! I just know it!'

Really? You know it? How? How do you know? What else did your crystal ball tell you?

Or my favorite: "When is so-and-so finally going to pop the question?"

Well, I don't know, I guess around the same time you decide to have that hairy wart removed from your chin. Mothers say this to daughters, aunts say it to nieces, sisters say it to sisters, and friends say it to friends. But did you ever stop to think maybe this gal isn't currently thrilled with her relationship status? Maybe she and her boyfriend have no intention of getting married soon -- or ever -- or maybe she's a closet lesbian and you've just rubbed in her face the fact that, at this point in time, marriage is a legal impossibility for her.

No matter the circumstances, it's so unwise and so rude to put this type of pressure on anyone.

It's not just the ladies that have to deal with this kind of badgering. Traditionally it's on the guy to pop the question (but realistically, this isn't 1953 and there aren't any rules that say you have to follow this rule) so inevitably, the initial pressure to propose is on them. Find a ring, one that she'll adore, one that will show up your brother's wife's ring, come up with some elaborate plan to romance her into a near coma and then sweat your ass off debating whether she's gonna say yes or not. My first thought is, if you think there is even a moderate possibility that she'll say no, you probably shouldn't be asking in the first place. Keep in mind, guys, if your mother or future mother-in-law hassles you and your girlfriend constantly about when you'll propose, imagine what planning a wedding and future children will be like around these people. Perhaps you should consider proposing that you and your girlfriend move to London instead.

As for women, well, we have internal "baby ticking time bombs," so we have to constantly judge and calculate when we need to be married by to have children by the time we want them or when someone else has told us we should have them so our uteruses don't ‘dry up' before we get a shot at motherhood. Great. So on top of having nosy relatives and friends with no tact that feel it's somehow appropriate to butt in and tell you when it's time to tie the knot (oh, I'll tie a knot alright), we also have to factor in the issue of our spoiling eggs.

It is difficult. When the age of thirty begins to peek over the horizon, the appeal of settling down and starting a new chapter can go from being a distant thought to an all consuming obsession. Perhaps you're the last in your group of friends to get married. Some friends may already be naming their second child, moving up from their starter house, whatever. It's ok to envy what someone else has and to wish for it for yourself, but it's not realistic to push for things that huge based on someone else's timeline. And it's certainly not fair to feel like you're ‘falling behind' because some jackass with a big mouth tells you so.

You know what part of a wedding most girls between 26 and 29 dread... the bouquet toss. The DJ puts on "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" and screams into the mic, "OK, all you single ladies! It's time to find out who'll be walking down the aisle next!" As my friends have paired off and married I've been left with less and less company out on that dance floor. This tradition has gone from something thrilling at 18 to a humiliating experience just ten years later and not because I'm upset that I'm not married, but because this whole process is designed to make single women of a certain age feel singled out. Because my priorities in the past have differed from my friends, there I am alone on a dance floor with a few hundred people looking at me as if they're expecting me to cry. As I steadily down my champagne and wait for a mass of lilies to hit me in the head, my mind can't help but race through a montage of America's Funniest Home Videos in which the throngs of desperate, single women maul each other to get at the bouquet. I, for one, am not going to make an ass of myself tackling my thirteen year old cousin for a bunch of day old flowers. I much prefer the less anticipated duck.

Wedding tradition drama aside, the real question is who in their right mind believes it's alright to put pressure on others to pop the question or set the date. Here's the thing: someone should propose or a couple engaged should set their wedding date or two people should make the decision to have children only when they are damn good and ready to. Bottom line is, IT'S NO ONE ELSE'S BUSINESS. These are huge, life altering and, depending on the wedding you want to have, massive financial investments, so unless you're planning to foot the bill for a ceremony, reception and honeymoon or offer up medical bills, childcare and college tuition for the next eighteen years, Shut It. This isn't your decision to make.

No one should make you feel pressured to do any of it. These are situations in which you want to know your ducks are in a row before you dive into the pool. I know too many people that have married because someone else told them it was time or put pressure on them to make the next step. It didn't matter how smoothly or rocky things were sailing, ‘it's time, you must have a wedding, get married, have a baby, end of story.' And we gals fall for this BS too often.

Instead, I say go ahead and focus on your career for the next five years, make the choice to travel the world before you have to haul a stroller along with you, or consider the incredible decision to adopt if you're worried you'll be ‘too old' to have children of your own when the time comes.

It's nice to have someone with whom you can see a future. It's fun to imagine having a home, children (if that's in the cards) and spending your life with someone you truly love. But keep in mind, a lot of people rush into all of that and in the end many of them have to pick up the pieces and start all over again hoping for better results. No one gets to tell you when you should get married. No one gets to tell you when you should have children. It's your life and it's the only one you get. Make the decisions that will change your life drastically on your own terms and in your own time. There is no finish line. No award for getting there first. But there are significant benefits to getting it right.