Another trip to Mars is not what the doctor ordered and "Red Planet" should be avoided like a disease. As if March's "Mission to Mars" wasn't bad enough, 2000 now boasts two bad trips to the ruby orb. When is Hollywood going to learn?
This time, the people of Earth have poisoned our planet beyond repair and drained all of its resources. The year is 2057 and a team of six is going to Mars to gather vital information that will be key to mankind's survival. Apparently we tried to grow algae on Mars to create oxygen but something went wrong and the oxygen is gone. Something like that anyway.
The team is led by Commander Kate Bowman ("The Matrix" star Carrie-Anne Moss) and includes Gallagher (Val Kilmer), Burchenal (Tom Sizemore), Santen (Benjamin Bratt), Pettengill (Simon Baker) and Chantillas (Terence Stamp). The one thing this movie does extremely well is waste this excellent cast.
The ship experiences some problems and Bowman must stay behind and communicate with the team and Houston while repairing the ship.
After a mildly exciting landing on Mars, our heroes find themselves in deep trouble. They are running out of oxygen and the camp they were supposed to reside in has been destroyed. Now they have no food, water or reserve oxygen. How are they going to breath and get off the planet? And who damaged their camp? Are they alone?
Things get worse before they get better. People start dying and a robot named Amee is trying to kill them. She turned into military mode during the crash and is going to kill them one by one. We could only be so lucky.
"Red Planet" is a terrible movie. The script, by Chuck Pffarer ("The Jackal") and Jonathan Lemkin ("The Devil's Advocate"), renders every character as a boring cardboard cut-out. Their names are the only things distinguishing one from another.
You would think the writers and director (Antony Hoffman) could come up with something better than a killer robot and bugs. It's as exciting as household chores.
The cast, as talented as it is, cannot save the movie. Moss is playing almost the same role she played in "The Matrix" and is given nothing to do. The rest of the actors are either not on screen long enough to make an impression or merely go through the motions. Sizemore, Stamp and even Kilmer deserve better than this.
It's hard to imagine someone thinking this movie needed to be made. Hollywood needs to be punished for continuing to make movies like this one. "Red Planet" is dumb, boring and laughably improbable, even for science fiction. The mission fails.
Grade: D
"Red Planet" is open now.
