Most guys I know have no problem divulging to me or anyone else within earshot their affinity for anal sex. I'm not just talking about guys I've dated. I'm talking friends, friends of friends, boyfriend's friends, gay and straight friends. They all seem to like anal as much as, if not more, than vaginal sex.
I have also heard from a number of women that say they were initially very skeptical about the idea but actually wound up liking it far more than they expected and sometimes, just like the guys, even favor it over vaginal sex.
The typical reason I'm always given from guys on the topic is that "it's tighter" and therefore is a more intense feeling. Makes sense. Men also have prostates, which when stimulated correctly can be very pleasurable, despite the way you guys feel when your doc asks you to bend over. Think of the scene from "Road Trip."
So, with all of this on the table, is anal sex still taboo in today's society?
It's not as if no one is doing it. Take a stroll through any adult store and you'll know its true; gay, straight, whatever, there are videos, books and toys dedicated strictly to anal sex, which to me means a lot of people seem to be exploring and enjoying the activity.
My assumption is that even now in the days of Pridefest (some of the most fun I've ever had in Milwaukee), the openness of gays and lesbians in the public spotlight and even monumental steps towards the possibility of gay marriage, people look at anal sex as something "gay" and therefore not to be discussed.
Oddly enough, or not, I've had these anal sex conversations with some of the biggest meathead, fraternity letter wearing, homophobic guys that I know.
One such meathead was sitting at Steny's with me late one night. While everyone moved down to play darts he decided it was a great time to unload on me how much he liked anal. However, it didn't stop there; he also confided in me the story of his own introduction into butt-plugging.
Now, I know what you are immediately thinking, that this is one ballsy way to pick up a girl, but fear not, this was not an attempt to get me on a date or into bed. I would actually go so far as to say if you are looking to indeed pick someone up, this is your disclaimer; save the anal discussion for a later date unless you have proof that she'll be totally into the idea.
Onto the story; apparently he and some girlfriend at the time were getting hot and heavy in the shower when without so much as a "heads up" she stuck her thumb up his butt. I sat intently waiting for the part where he‘d instinctively yell, turn to get away from her probing digit as quickly as possible and inadvertently knock both of them over onto the floor until they were nothing more than a writhing pile of soap, water and awkwardness wrapped in a shower curtain.
No such luck. After the initial shock he realized how much he actually liked it and to this day makes the suggestion to any less informed girl that he gets into bed with.
Do I think this anal stuff has anything to do with being gay? Nope. Other than the obvious fact that gay men have anal sex, and that's not really news these days. It goes back to what I must've expressed 10 times or more already, if it's legal; and believe it or not anal as well as oral sex were not legal in some of the 50 states until 2003. In some countries people can still be prosecuted, punished and even killed for it.
Talk about keeping the law off your body, how about out of my bedroom while you're at it. I think the most ludicrous part is that the laws often clump anal and oral sex in with incest and bestiality. Really? You're going to compare someone giving a blow job to another consenting adult with someone giving a blow job to a goat or their six-year old nephew?
To me, that seems a little far-fetched.
However, now it is legal in the U.S., so as I was saying, as long as it's legal and you are comfortable with the idea, give it a whirl if you are so inspired. Or just stick your thumb up the butt of the next guy you're in the shower with. You might just change his world.
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.
