Sex columnist ... The title -- and the entire concept -- conjures a lot of clichés immediately. I know what you're thinking -- here's another girl believing she's the next Carrie Bradshaw.
I'll admit, I'm a huge "Sex and the City" fan, but I'm also a rational enough human being to know that show was an escape fantasy based very loosely on the real-life situations that we each deal with day in and day out.
I don't know if any of you are so lucky, but none of the crises I go through ever seem to be fixed over the course of one hour. Despite my great desire, I do not have the joy of spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on shoes and clothing without ever worrying about debt, credit ratings or a declining economy. And perhaps most telling, I do not have the ability, nor the sanity, to freely date and sleep with more men than I can list on a Post-it.
In my opinion, America has a very backwards attitude about sex. Look around. Sex is EVERYWHERE. It's on magazine covers, television, advertisements and, of course, the internet.
And yet for some reason, most of us still treat it as a taboo topic. We make jokes about it, gossip about it and make guesses as to who's doing it with whom, but it's rare that we talk seriously about sex. Teen pregnancy is through the roof, STDs are affecting younger and younger generations and yet we still think that sex is something best talked about behind closed doors.
Sex is the elephant in our living rooms and while we're busy being politically correct, our children are having children.
I have friends that have admitted they've had unprotected sex because they were too embarrassed to say anything about using a condom in the "heat of the moment."
Really, people?
If you're too embarrassed to ask about protection, how embarrassing is it going to be when your doctor tells you that cute guy or girl you've been seeing gave you herpes? Or worse yet ladies, that you're pregnant?
Knowledge is power and in the case of sex education, the learning never stops. You don't have to be in high school health class to learn a thing or two about it. And thankfully, you don't have to be a porn star to be really good at it.
But the catch is that sex has its consequences. When done right, lets face it, there are few things on this planet that can compare. When done wrong it's not always just a let down, it can change your life permanently.
OK, I'll hop off my soapbox now.
Some people wait for it, some people flaunt it, some people never do it, some people always seem to be doing it and some people even get paid for it. Whatever sex is to you, lets talk about it.
Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte I am not. However, I am a currently single, twenty-something, college-educated woman, working, dating and living in Milwaukee.
Here's my plan, I'm going to write this column as best as I can with the knowledge and experiences that I have and when I don't know the answers, I'll do my best to find them and I'll do the same for any questions you have. Of course I will never use your real name when replying. So don't be shy, I won't bite.
Well, no promises, but that's a story for another column.
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.
