I have a fetish.
I like them tall, usually strappy and in every color imaginable. There, I said it; I have a shoe fetish. Not in the sense that I get aroused by shoes, necessarily, but when I see a pair of shoes that I like, I can barely think about anything else.
True fetishes come in many varieties. Whether its feet, butts, breasts, piercings, domination / submission, pain or even fetishes with certain fabrics, they are all over the map and vary in degrees of strangeness and severity. Many people embrace their fetishes and don't consider these obsessions to be debilitating or dangerous to any degree. A severe fetish, those requiring professional assistance, are ones that negatively interfere with daily life.
One rather well known yet rarely disclosed fetish is the "Golden Shower." Sounds delightful, borderline regal, the latest spa treatment rumored to make your skin glow. Not so much. There is not one piece of me that gets excited at the idea of peeing on someone or being peed on, but for some this is the ultimate in foreplay. And yes, some even take it to level deuce ... which gets my official definitive "Ick" stamp. I'm all about down and dirty, but that's one level of dirty I just cannot fathom. Women especially spend a fair amount of effort trying to make men believe that we don't have bodily functions at all, let alone a desire to share them. If you can barely get yourself to pee with the bathroom door open, this one probably isn't up your alley.
Foot fetishes are intriguing (maybe it has something to do with the aforementioned shoe issue), not because I really love feet, but because it seems like so many people do and so many feel just the opposite. Many people cannot stand to have another person's feet even touch them and it's a stretch to imagine putting them in our mouths ... or wherever else. We walk on our feet all day long. They are what touch our bathroom floor in the morning and what walk around on city streets dodging gum, spit and cigarette butts.
Granted, most of us choose the safe route of wearing shoes, but it can be difficult to separate the two images in our heads. Still, many people find feet to be seriously arousing. In fact, I have a friend whose boyfriend liked to have sex with her feet while she was wearing stockings. I'm not sure if it was more about the silk or the feet or possibly both, but it's interesting, to say the least. She told me she was far more fascinated than turned on by his unusual attraction and, needless to say, they are no longer together.
That's not to say that fetishes automatically end relationships. Fetishes, like most sexual preferences, should be something you disclose in a timely manner rather than something you spring on an unsuspecting bed buddy. There are few things less sexy than having someone bust out a ball gag and cattail whip without a little warning.
Bringing up a fetish in conversation, not specifying it yourself and seeing the reaction on the other persons face can tell you a lot about their true feelings on the matter.
Not all fetishes involve body parts or acts best left in our bathrooms. Many people have fetishes that have nothing to do with either. Believe it or not, water is a relatively common fetish. I'm not just talking about the shower or swimming pool. For some the simple sound of the faucet running or the neighbors sprinkler is enough to get them going.
Kept in the privacy of your own home, this could be pretty intriguing and seems to have a more natural character to it than other fetishes. There is definitely something to be said about the sound of the ocean or a hard thunderstorm. However, if it's the sound of the water cooler at work that does it for you, you may want to consider moving your desk.
Being aroused by something in particular isn't necessarily a fetish. Maybe you like to watch, get really turned on by a certain part of a person's body or like a little bit of pain with your pleasure. The difference between liking something and having a bona fide fetish is whether you have the ability to get aroused without the presence of that object or act.
So my shoe fetish may be better classified as an obsession which affects my pain threshold and my wallet more than my level of arousal. A love at first sight reaction, rather than lust, if you will. I certainly don't have to stare at a pair of stilettos to get off ... but, who knows, it might help.
For many, fetishes are real; some are sexy, some are scary and some are just plain gross. If you cannot get excited without someone whipping you, peeing on you or sucking on someone else's toes ... then you, my friend, have a fetish and what you do with it is your business.
No, the OnMilwaukee.com sex columnist's real name is not Sarah Foster. (Foster is the model/actress that played an ex-lover of Vincent Chase in the first season of "Entourage.") In reality, our sex columnist is a Wisconsin native with a degree in journalism and a knack for getting people to talk to her.
Sarah never considered herself an "above average" listener. Others, however, seem to think differently. Perhaps she has a sympathetic tone or expression that compels people to share their lives and secrets with her despite how little they know her. Everyone from the girl that does her hair to people in line at the grocery store routinely spill the details of their lives and relationships to Sarah, unprompted but typically not unwanted. It’s strange to her that people would do this, but she doesn’t mind. Sarah likes that she can give advice even if it is to complete strangers.
So why the pseudonym? Simple. People tell Sarah these things because for some reason they trust her. They believe she cares and therefore will keep their secrets in a locked vault the same way a best friend or therapist would. Sarah won't name names, but that vault is now unlocked.
