For my entire life, I've been hearing people tell me that my shoes are untied.
It's not that I don't know how to tie my shoes. I do. But for some reason, I never learned how to keep them that way.
Sure, I know how to tie a double-knot, but I never was a fan of untying them. And, while I don't own a ton of shoes, the last three pairs I've bought have been of the slip-on variety.
Now, I'm sort of wondering why I should ever buy shoes with laces again.
Of course, I realize there's a time and place for laced-up shoes. Those times include exercise and dress wear (I hope penny loafers never come back in style). But if your pants break at the right place, laces aren't really visible, anyway. Besides, these business-casual slip on shoes are more comfortable, don't require tying and untying and are actually reasonably stylish.
Which has me thinking: what other time-saving, no-hassle fashion choices can I make before I devolve into the guy who wears sweat pants outside the house?
The easy choice is growing a beard. I don't know about other dudes with toddlers scooting around the house, but now every second of extra sleep is precious to me, and the morning shaving routine is a hassle I'd love to leave behind.
On the other hand, a beard is really a commitment, and it's one I've never been able to see through past a month. Between the itchiness and general ridiculousness of bushy facial hair, I've never let my stubble settle in for the long winter.
Yet.
Where else can we make life more simple without introducing Velcro into our wardrobes? Clip-on ties? Nah. "Union suits" or nightshirts? Weird.
Do zippers save more time than buttons? How about snaps? Unless it's a "cowboy shirt," it's hard to find a dress shirt without buttons.
Speaking of dress shirts, I've found myself buying shirts that advertise themselves as "easy iron," that is, they've got a touch of polyester weaved in. I would've once scoffed at buying a shirt that wasn't 100 percent cotton, but you know what? A little polyester gives a shirt a little something extra -- and it does, in fact, make it less wrinkly.
But I guess that's where I'll draw the line. For now, I'll forgo the muumuus, bolo ties and dashikis and continue to put just a little bit of product in my easy-to-manage short hair.
Upon further reflection, slip-on shoes and wrinkle-free shirt are one thing. Moses beards, elastic waist jeans and wearing pajama shirts to work are another.
Andy is the president, publisher and founder of OnMilwaukee. He returned to Milwaukee in 1996 after living on the East Coast for nine years, where he wrote for The Dallas Morning News Washington Bureau and worked in the White House Office of Communications. He was also Associate Editor of The GW Hatchet, his college newspaper at The George Washington University.
Before launching OnMilwaukee.com in 1998 at age 23, he worked in public relations for two Milwaukee firms, most of the time daydreaming about starting his own publication.
Hobbies include running when he finds the time, fixing the rust on his '75 MGB, mowing the lawn at his cottage in the Northwoods, and making an annual pilgrimage to Phoenix for Brewers Spring Training.
