Who makes the all-time sports jerk list?

I was watching Tiger Woods play golf over the weekend and it got me to thinking about jerks and sports.

And I kept thinking and thinking and thinking. The list never seemed to come to an end.

It was a list of big sports jerks and I can't begin to put a number on the list. It's not the top 10 or top 20. It's just a list of people who turned out to be absolute bums when they

weren't playing. I'm sure everyone can add a name to this list.

Topping my list, without fear of contradiction, is O. J. Simpson. I saw him play in person and he was spectacular. He was equally spectacular as a jerk. Murder. Murder again. Phony break-ins. This man was in a class by himself. Plus, did you ever see any of his movies?

Right up their near O. J., nipping at his heels, so to speak, is Michael Vick. What he did to those dogs is unforgivable. I haven't forgiven him, and I don't think many people have. Then he lied about the whole thing. Again, a great talent who got so wound up in his off-the-field crap that he's become a joke.

The only woman to make my list is the little bulldog, Tonya Harding. First she videotaped her honeymoon night and couldn't keep it from being posted on the internet. Then she hired thugs to break the leg of her chief opponent. She also lied about the whole thing. Tonya could have been a Mafia capo if she wasn't such a good skater.

We have some our own jerks, too.

Let's take a look at Latrell Sprewell, one of Milwaukee's own. Sure, he choked his coach. But that's not nearly enough to make this list. He was also accused of choking a girl he was having sex with on his yacht in Milwaukee's harbor. Then he was offered $21 million to play for one year and griped that it "wasn't enough money to put food on my family's table." That's our boy.

There are other people who you might think should be on the list, but don't make it. Like Eugene Robinson, the former safety for the Green Bay Packers. In 1998 the day before Super Bowl XXXIII, he was awarded the Bart Starr Award from the Christian group Athletes in Action for his "high moral character". However, that very same night he was arrested for offering an undercover female police officer posing as a prostitute $40 for oral sex. It was a one-time slip for a good guy, so he stays off the list.

Tiger, of course, makes the list. Here he was at the top of his world. A knockout wife, two knockout kids and a knockout dog, living in a knockout house. Then his wife discovered a strange phone number in his phone, and Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. It was amazing how fast and how far he fell. He lied about it, and then he lied some more and then he lied even more. Talk about a jerk.

I have to put Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, on my list. He has a couple of the biggest jerk qualities. He is obnoxious as all get out and he is an insufferable know-it-all. There is almost nothing that makes me happier than when the Cowboys lose.

Shawn Kemp is a guy who just has to make the list, even if you don't care much about him. He had seven children with six different mothers. There were rumors of a lot more, too. He got arrested with cocaine, marijuana and a pistol in his car. He's a deadbeat dad. Welcome to the list.

And finally, we come to Brett Favre.

Has he behaved like a jerk sometimes? Yes. Has he done a lot of good things? Yes. Is he one of our heroes? Yes. Did he break our hearts? Yes. Has he behaved shamefully? Yes. Has he inspired us and made us catch our breath in admiration? Yes. Has he been always taken responsibility on his shoulders? Yes. Has he blamed other people for failures? No.

I've made up my mind. Is Brett Favre on my list of sports jerks? No.