By OnMilwaukee Staff Writers   Published Aug 06, 2019 at 1:01 PM Photography: Molly Snyder

Slurp up these festival stories packed with vitamins, minerals and everything you need to spike your summer fun. The Summer Festivals Guide is brought to you by Punch Bowl Social. Come on in – it's time we all win at adulting.

Looking to make the most of this year's Wisconsin State Fair? Look no further, because the folks here at OnMilwaukee have 100 things you just have to do while on the fairgrounds this year. From pig races to Sno-Cones to fire jugglers and cream puffs, there's something for everyone, so take a look!

    1. Have a cream puff and a Miller Lite before 10 a.m. Repeat the combination after 10 p.m.
    2. Cheer on our own Molly Snyder in the celebrity cream puff eating contest, this Thursday at 11 a.m. 
    3. Save $10 (or more) on parking by biking to the fair
    4. Try the "deep-fried Italian Stallion" at Water Street Brewery
    5. Watch for the Strolling Street Entertainers throughout the Fair
    6. See if you can stomach Ants on a Stick (featuring actual ants) and earthworm jerky from All Things Jerky. And if those are too adventurous, there's always the cricket tacos and snake soup, too. 
    7. Listen to Bon Jovi, REO Speedwagon and Tom Petty – all covered by your favorite local bar bands
    8. Take a tractor for a spin
    9. Close out the State Fair with singer / songwriter icon: Melissa Etheridge, hitting the main stage on Aug. 11
    10. Visit the Swine Barn, because where else can you see pigs that big?
    11. Visit the new alpacas
    12. Get your handwriting analyzed
    13. Have an artist draw a caricature of your kids
    14. Ride the Giant Slide
    15. Three words: Saz’s Pig Races!
    16. Watch Native American drummers
    17. Cheer on the Kids from Wisconsin. They are our future!
    18. Run away with a carnie 
    19. Watch infomercials come to life inside the Expo
    20. Point out to a stranger that "It's not the heat, it's the humidity"
    21. Skip the gym and walk the 200-acre fairgrounds instead
    22. Check out men in skirts, AKA the bagpipers
    23. Veterans, military members and their families can get in free until 4 p.m. on Sunday, Aug. 11
    24. Keep track of Zubaz pants
    25. Buy some salt water taffy
    26. Look for Topher Grace from "That '70s Show"
    27. Visit Monty's reptiles and meet the giant freak-of-nature alligator
    28. Munch some roasted nuts
    29. Shop for Egyptian jewelry
    30. Buy cotton candy for a child under the age of 7
    31. Cool off with a Sno-Cone
    32. Learn about State Fair's past at the history display in the Expo Center
    33. Stick your finger in an award-winning pie
    34. Cheer the daily parade
    35. Look for local legends like "Freeway"
    36. Heckle the on-air staff at the WTMJ radio booth
    37. Check out Skid Row on Friday, Aug. 9 at 8 p.m.
    38. Have a Miller High Life – and probably sweat it out in 10 minutes thanks to the summer heat
    39. Combine cheese and chocolate with the indulgent Chocolate Covered Gouda on a Stick
    40. Go on a 10-mile hike to work off the Chilled Cookie Dough, deep-fried Snickers, etc.
    41. Make out on the Ferris wheel
    42. Get a non-alcoholic pina colada at the El Campeon
    43. Ride the Zero Gravity ride – just make sure you eat after, not before
    44. Watch the fish at the DNR’s Exploratory Park
    45. Eat a potato with all the fixins from the Wisconsin Potato Producers on the Potato Patio, adjacent to its location in the Wisconsin Products Pavilion
    46. Shop for a deal on a hot tub
    47. Cheer on the marine life at the Sea Lion Splash
    48. All-you-can-eat pancakes, all day, every day ... at the Machine Shed Restaurant
    49. Borrow the neighbor's kid and take another ride down the Giant Slide
    50. Veggie races ... cucumbers on wheels, baby!
    51. Head to Saz's and raise a glass
    52. Buy a VitaMix
    53. Scarf down some of the State Fair's new foods
    54. Air-brush your sweetie's name on a T-shirt
    55. People watch – you won't be disappointed
    56. Watch the fire jugglers. Tip liberally, because they juggle fire
    57. Try the famous Wisconsin cheese curds ... as big as potato pancakes
    58. Have a few beers and go record your own music single
    59. Try the goat cheese curds at the Wisconsin Dairy Goats Products
    60. Win your sweetie a stuffed unicorn at Spin City
    61. Check out the milking demonstrations at the Milking Parlor, both cows and goats
    62. Enjoy the beauty of the Clydesdales
    63. Sing "Jessie's Girl" with Rick Springfield on Wednesday, Aug. 7 at the main stage.
    64. See how many people you can spot eating a cream puff. How many do it correctly, by unscrewing the top?
    65. Call in your order and pick up cream puffs at the drive-thru
    66. Snag some great recipes in the Wisconsin Products Pavilion
    67. Enjoy ice cold milk at the Milwaukee Bucks Milk House
    68. Look at sculptured bonsai, orchids, dinner plate sized dahlias and more
    69. Sample all the Sporkies nominees and vote for your favorite
    70. Keep from overheating with a beercicle from Pabst Blue Ribbon Park
    71. Get a beer from the robot bartender 
    72. Count plaid shirts in and outside of the barns
    73. See if the kids working in the barns are listening to country music or hip-hop
    74. Check out the agricultural judging events
    75. Challenge the psychics to guess your correct age, weight or birthday
    76. Splurge for an imported beer
    77. Try the deep fried milk
    78. Check out free music at Cracovia
    79. Gobble at least three cultures in one bite with the Big Easy Cajun Cheese Curd Taco at Poncho Dog
    80. Stop by for breakfast on your way to work. After all, the Fair opens at 8 a.m. each day
    81. The Wisconsin Wine Garden has a wide selection of Sconnie wines; try them all
    82. Check out all the adorable animals: dogs, bunnies, chicks, piglets, horses and more
    83. Ante up at the Governor's Blue Ribbon Livestock Auction. Invite friends over for a giant BBQ
    84. Two words: Mobile Tours
    85. Hop on the Skyglider as a way to avoid the crowds. Laugh at all the flip-flops, sunglasses and cell phones that have been dropped on building roofs
    86. Buy a cowboy / cowgirl hat
    87. High five a State Fair grounds worker and say "thank you!"
    88. Visit massage stations throughout the park
    89. Check out Herman's Hermits at the Leinie's Stage on Wednesday, Aug. 7 at 8 p.m.
    90. Take the kiddies to the Compeer Financial Discovery Barnyard
    91. Grab your friends, head to The Micro, try to kill a keg and then please Uber home
    92. Count the mullets
    93. Enjoy dog demos of all kinds at the K-9 Sports Arena
    94. Talk to people partying outside their RV
    95. Bust out your trucker hat
    96.  Be entertained by Pat McCurdy at the Charcoal Grill Roadhouse on Sunday, Aug. 11 at 7 p.m.
    97. Look for West Allis Mayor Dan Devine and say "hi" when you see him
    98. Buy a State Fair bargain book and save big all fair long
    99. Post your favorite fair photos on Facebook and Instagram
    100. Pay to park in someone's front yard