The "Survivor" auction is always a crowd pleaser, and not just because we get to see a bunch of skinnies eat. Although, it was nice to see Monica crush that entire roast chicken. You have got to love an auction, because it really distinguishes the people who are playing to the end from the people who are playing for a seat on the jury. I love the auctions. In seasons past, they have shown us who the real strategists are, exposed alliances to other players, given players a chance to make huge sacrifices for others, (key, in terms of jury votes) and, most important, the auction almost always manages to unearth at least one selfish jerk.
This week, I will be discussing the auction. If you want my opinion on the killing and stewing of chickens, the day after a reward where nearly everyone ate, you are in the wrong place.
Actually, that's not true.
I'll tell you exactly what I think! Wouldn't it have made more sense to wait until the end, when your rice is nearly gone and you have fewer people to feed? Or to just eat one? For those of you that want to argue that it was inhumane to kill the chickens, I get it. I felt that way at first too, but whatever. At least they were offed by a surgeon. The argument that we should be making is that it was inhumane to kill them to make soup! SOUP?!?!?!?
Doesn't, like, everyone on earth know that foods lose nutrients by being boiled? Shouldn't Chefbo have realized that she could have roasted the chicken, dutch oven style, and use the drippings in the pan as stock? That's how you make soup! They could have even made a delicious chicken papaya chutney... three meals in one! Also, I happen to know, via our secret "Survivor" network, that Danger Dave is a great cook and, while I appreciate him saying something to Sham about her stupid stew, I am a little disappointed. I really thought he would be the Bobby Flay of the jungle.
OK, back to the auction... "Survivor" contestants who have watched the show, tend to have a pretty good idea of when the auction is coming. Generally speaking, you have loads of time to plan for how you will handle the auction, the types of things you will bid on, how important strategy pieces are to you and your alliances, what foods are important and what you can let go without bidding on and so forth.
This late in the game, its amazing how important food can be. Having eaten something that no one else has can truly be an advantage in challenges, and after 30 days, your cravings are all you can think about. Some would say Natalie jumped the gun when she bid on the first item in the auction, but I challenge you to poll any survivor who ever played the game, about the one food they talked about more than anything else while they were out there. Every last one of them will tell you it was chicken soup. I'm kidding -- its peanut butter!!
Peanut butter is like "Survivor" superfood. Its salty, sweet, protein, fats, carbs and just plain delicious. In Tocantins, Sierra woke up in a cold sweat one night after dreaming she couldn't find Reese's peanut butter cups, and at Ponderosa, when we were voted out, you couldn't pry jars of it out of our skinny little fingers. JT was even stopped by airport security for trying to take a jar on the plane on our way home. A peanut butter sandwich was one of the best things up for grabs and it showed when Natalie far outlasted many others in the immunity challenge. That peanut butter outlasted a whole roast chicken and the world's largest burger.
The auctions are designed to give players an edge and it was clear that John truly felt he needed to pull ahead of the others. After a bidding war for advantage in the next immunity challenge (won by Jaison, who clearly is not messing around when it comes to staying in this game), John wins a clue to the hidden idol, and the best opportunity in this game to strengthen bonds, create new alliances and ensure jury votes based on goodwill alone: the chance to give your food to others.
Producers do this in every auction... the chance to sacrifice for the greater good. They aren't dumb, but they sure bank on contestants who are. To give up a piece of pie so that four others could eat, would have been the obvious choice. That's four people who won't write your name down at the next tribal council. As he took that pie for himself, ending the auction with *four* people who hadn't eaten, he said "I'll eat the pie. Everyone's nice and I'm confident that no one is going to vote me off because they didn't get a piece of apple pie."
At this point we have talked a lot about rules, and in taking that pie, John disregarded the absolute, hands down, bottom-line, most basic rule of "Survivor," the one and only thing that the game is based on:
Hungry people are NOT nice.
