I am by no means an old-fashioned girl. I do not dream of frilly white dresses, knights in shining armor, or a big house with a white picket fence. I am, however, over text messaging as a means of flirting, foreplay and courtship. There is nothing I hate more than a passive aggressive man (or person for that matter), and I feel I'm drowning in a sea of them.
I am a huge "Sex and the City" fan, and one of my favorite episodes is when Berger breaks up with Carrie via the Post-it note. If you're not familiar with the show, here is the Cliff's Notes version:
Carrie and Berger date, things don't work, they try to make up, and in the middle of the night, Berger leaves and breaks up with Carrie on a Post-it note. His message: I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me. Despite a night out at a new club, Carrie can't come to terms with this new wave of breaking up and making up and wonders what ever happened to talking face to face, or at least over the phone.
Text messages are the new Post-its.
Time for a disclaimer. I text message all the time and find it to be a marvel of technology. It is helpful at work when I need to pass on a quick message without disrupting a co-worker with a lengthy phone call. It's great for letting friends know where you're located in noisy bar or a dark movie theater.
It is NOT a sufficient method of forming a new relationship with someone of the opposite sex.
I realize that dating sucks and can be scary. (I'm 31 and single -- things haven't exactly been a bed of roses my entire existence.) I understand that a text message is far less invasive and daunting then an actual phone conversation, which is why it's OK to use them as an ice breaker, but not to move glaciers.
Gentlemen of the 21st century, let me offer a few pieces of advice. If you meet a girl, get her phone number, and make initial contact by texting -- that is acceptable. Simply saying hello a day or so later and checking in to make sure she had a good time with the girls is just fine. Having a 20-minute "conversation" through bad grammar and "T9" is going too far.
Here is a hint: if she keeps texting, she'll probably answer your phone call and it will get you much further. I'm appalled at the number of times I've been asked out on dates through texting. Are you serious? You want to take me out for dinner but you don't have the cojones to speak the words? Sorry buddy, I can already assure you this little rendezvous isn't getting to the elusive date No. 3.
I mean, if you're not man enough to ask me out in a proper manner ... I'm guessing you're not man enough in a few other areas either.
So here is my new rule, and I hope my fellow ladies will follow suit. I will no longer allow grown men to ask me out this way: "Hey, wanna go c a movie fri nite? MB a drink 2?"
I'll make sure my response is loud and clear: "Why don't you call me and we can talk about it."
Trenni Kusnierek is a sports reporter and radio host who has worked for networks such as ABC, Big Ten, MLB, and NFL. She is currently on 540 ESPN in Milwaukee on both the D-List and Broad Side. Kusnierek is also freelance writing and reporting until January, when she will leave on a service trip to India.
A graduate of Marquette University, she holds a degree in Broadcast and Electronic Journalism. An avid marathon runner, Kusnierek qualified for the 2010 Boston Marathon by running a 3:37:02 at the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee.
