Writing a play is a difficult proposition just by itself. Then transferring the play from the page to the stage adds yet another layer of potential – and problems – to the process.

There are no secrets to writing good plays. There is no single key that will pave a path to Broadway.

But there are a couple of things that you really need once your play hits the footlights.

You need a sense of certainty of what the play is about. You need a director who assembles a cast that will convey the vision of what the play is about. And you need a cast that turns that vision into a reality.

All of this is important background information because Thursday night was the premiere of "The Old Garde," a play written by veteran Milwaukee journalist Bruce Murphy, and produced and directed by Mark Bucher at his Boulevard Theatre.

I have known Murphy for years and have always had respect and affection for some of his journalistic triumphs. It is because of that respect and affection that I am so very pained to discuss my reaction to his play.

In a 45-minute first act, I had almost no idea what was going on in the play. Brief scenes, some just a bare minute in length, came one after the other which I found exceedingly disruptive to any flow or momentum.

In the 55-minute second act, I finally figured out that the play was about the theater.

But beyond that, I didn’t have much of a clue. I didn’t know if it was supposed to be funny or a serious examination of the eternal battle between soul-fulfilling art and commercialism. Or if it was about men versus women. Or old versus young. Or commitment versus dilettantism.

There were some very funny lines in Murphy’s play, and his Irish wit showed itself capable of getting laughs from a sold-out house that was well populated with friends and supporters of both Bucher and Murphy.

But as soon as you got a laugh, the scene changed, and we were in the middle of a battle between a married couple, one of whom wants a baby and the other who doesn’t. Or a tryst between a rich aging theater lover and a sleazy performance artist who wants to curry her favor to launch his career.

Murphy has a good eye for some of the special things about the world of the theater. His take on the sexual frivolity that frequents the world of the stage and his demonstration of the world of the crass battling the world of the moonbeams are both accurate and clever.

If I had to hazard a guess, I’d say there have been too many readings and too many cooks stirring the broth of this play. It’s almost as if it has been analyzed, critiqued and changed so many times the heart has disappeared, as well as any clear message. I think the germ of a good idea is in this play, but too many have whipped the stuffing out of it.

Murphy doesn’t get much help from the cast in this play.

There are a couple of important things missing. In the comedic scenes, there is no sense of timing. Good comedy doesn’t give you time to breathe or nap. The lines come quickly, and there is a rhythm to them. This cast seemed unable to establish any rhythm or momentum in the scenes that were supposed to be funny, thereby robbing them of their humor.

Then there were the scenes where tortuous anguish about their roles in the theater were played out. Led by one of the loudest performances I’ve ever seen from Nigel Wade – who played the playwright, founder and spiritual guru of the theater company – I never got a sense of who these people were as people.

This was way too one-dimensional, and it was difficult to work up any sympathy, affection or concern about the characters because the acting never got past the point of reciting the lines and creating a living, breathing character.

Murphy is not without talent and a good ear for dialogue. His vast experience as a journalist ought to provide him a variety of fertile topics for plays.

I just think the next time he’d be better off writing his play, and then sticking to his guns and telling everyone else to keep their hands to themselves.  

"The Old Garde" runs through Dec. 1 at the Boulevard Theatre. Schedule and ticket information are available at boulevardtheatre.com.