Traffic is inevitable in and around Brew City. Whether it be from the ever-present construction, a Bucks game or even just rush hour, cars are always seemingly in your way. It could be a perfect day, with clear skies and not a car in sight, then BAM! You turn a corner and it's nothing but bumper to bumper traffic – and also it started raining.
Normally, that's a perfect recipe for a bad day. Not anymore, though, with these ten handy ways to spend your time in traffic.
1. Practice your David Gruber impression
If Milwaukee were to have an official mascot, it would have to be David Gruber. Seemingly every other commercial features him – and don't get me started on sporting events. He is infinite and inevitable. The perfect way to kill time on the streets is to master his famous phrase: "One call, that's all!"
2. Design another new Milwaukee city flag
Did you know that Milwaukee is getting a new flag? And it's not going to be the flag that everyone decided was pretty good earlier? If you missed your shot at designing the flag the last time the city decided to replace their current monstrosity, the perfect time to come up with a design is behind the wheel of your car. Because honestly, traffic is an integral part of the Milwaukee experience.
3. Think about that embarrassing thing you did all those years ago
Look, I don't know what you did. But you do. And now you're thinking about it again. For shame.
4. Learn to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo
Does Giannis have one "n" or two? Wait, Antetokounmpo has how many letters? Figuring out how to spell The Greek Freak's real name is more of a math problem than a spelling bee, and if somehow you haven't mastered it yet, there's no better time to finally crack the code than when stuck in traffic.
5. Make acronyms from the license plate in front of you
This is a game that I would play when I worked in a parking lot. If the license plate in front of you has letters on it, you turn those letters into a phrase. For example, a license plate that reads ###-OTB can be said to stand for "OnMilwaukee? The bomb!" The more letters on the license plate, the harder the acronym – and the more fun the game is.
6. Play rock, paper, scissors with the car the next lane over
Obviously, don't do this if you are in traffic that's slow but still moving. If the flow of traffic has come to a halt, though, all you have to do is make eye contact with the car next to you, put one fist on top of your flat palm and start the game. Even if you don't win, you'll have made a new friend.
7. Get sad thinking about Christian Yelich's injury
8. Get happy thinking about Aaron Rodgers' mustache
That thing is a piece of art that will haunt your dreams forever.
9. Take a look around and realize the hidden beauty of the city
Milwaukee is a beautiful city. Sure, the traffic can be a bummer, but most of the time, it's caused by construction. And that construction can lead to some beautiful new buildings or some smooth new roads. Even if you're stuck in regular old gridlock, there's always something to see looking out your window. Maybe it's an old Cream City brick building. Maybe it's a beautiful new mural. Maybe it's just an uneventful, everyday street. There's beauty to be found in everything, and beauty is found in spades in Milwaukee.
10. STAY OFF YOUR PHONE
If your car is moving – at all – keep your hands off your phone. If you are stopped completely, fine. Take a quick look. Maybe change your podcast. But always be aware of what's happening on the road. Distracted driving is not only illegal, it's incredibly dangerous. Plus, with all the handy tips you've read here, there's no reason for you to be on your phone anyway!
There you have it: ten tips to pass the time while driving. Next time you're behind the wheel, moving as fast as a turtle taking a pit stop, remember this list to help the time fly by. Your friends will be thrilled by your ability to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo.